Here Without You

Here Without You
3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

24082010

Bed Hair Day.

For your information I spent today mostly at home sleeping.
Its not that much of a surprise when you think in terms of a SP student.
Now is the YOG holiday period and people who have not much to do my understand.
Well, its not like I don't have much to do, today's just happens to be a lazy day.

Ah, I just remembered that I have to send my friend this thing for our FYP report.
So you can wait a little right??
A picture for you to think about while I do my things.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 hours later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I'm back. Actually I'm too tired to blog now. BUT WHAT THE HECK.
It seems I took abit too long on my work and thinking and manga.
Yes, its very hard to resist manga.
I'm trying my best.
I'm really really sleepy now but there's only an hour before 5 o'clock, in which the time when I'm supposed to eat before fasting during the day.

Oh yea.
The reason why tonight's post is called bed hair day is because I had bed hair.
For the whole day.
Ok, at least until halfway in NTUC.
Well of course, I had been dead asleep most of the day.
Just now I went to Eastpoint with that hair.
I didn't really care how it looked.
Its just that I get this bouncy feeling on my head the whole time.
That top picture didn't really show my bed hair, but boy was it bouncy.
My hair gets flat about an hour after leaving the bed(unless i showered)
ok fine i admit going to NTUC directly after waking up.
So I guess it flattened while i was marketing.
Luckily I have awesome hair.

Hey.
What's up with people, huh?
They all have their own desires and thanks to that parties emerge.
"Parties of different opinions"
All my life I always try to understand people and not be one-sided.
Nowadays I feel like I'm contradicting myself.
Sometimes I even realise that I lie to myself.
I look around at one angle, and then I notice that I worry about how people look at me than how I look at myself.
I feel that I put unnecessary pressure on myself.
Look how I became hesitant. Indecisive. Incapable.
"Change" is a horrible word.
Its a tiny word easy to pronounce.
Its a word that gives hope to people.
Yet its a word that hurts people to achieve what they want.
It is a word that challenges people.
It is a word that makes people struggle.
And "change" changes people.
That is how it is also beautiful.
And how I desire it.

Oh well.
I'm gonna endure for the next one hour.
Ciaossu.

21082010

Today is a day that we have lost a brother, a friend, and a beloved companion. Until now he has served his purpose, although with mishaps sometimes, but others with grace. He has opened my world and helped me in my tasks. He listened to my words and connected me to others'. Today I have lost... my handphone.




Anyway, just now was nearly so screwed up. I was waiting at Tampines MRT Station, alone, and with a broken handphone. Apparently out of 5 guys I'm supposed to meet, 4 of them said they'd be late. Thus I anxiously waited for the last guy, hoping that there won't be other problems.

5 minutes past the promised time.
Nothing.
So I thought "ok this is fine, its just 5 minutes... i hope he aint late or anything, if he messages or calls, i won't know no crap"

10 minutes past the promised time.
Nothing.
So I thought "ah, ive been been an hour late(not proud of it) and my phone's broken so i cant do no crap, seriously."

15 minutes past the promised time
He arrived.(If it was anime, I cudve said 5 hours later...)


Sooo, why was I waiting for the guy??
Cos it's Janice's birthday party today!
And we were meeting to buy her present!
WOOHOO!
Well, yea. The party's at a chalet in Pasir Ris, relatively "near" to my house.
Lotsa food, people, drinks, people, games, people, and also kids! Not to mention people.
I ate ALOT. When no one was looking. ALOT. Three plates, I believe.
Yea.
We played in one of the rooms alot.
From gay-wrestling to monopoly deal to mahjongg.
At one point I accidentally fell of the bed and thumped my head on the floor.
Good thing I'm a hardhead.
So many things happened including a guy holding another guy's hands during the phototaking time and after that came the talking.
Then theres cake and all, a typical fun birtday party €D.
Then theres the go home part.
I really wanted to stay.
But I'm fasting so it is inconvenient to stay away from from home for me and my family some reason.
So I sadly said goodbye, wrote smtg to Janice and ran to catch up with the people who left me behind (wah lao weh)

And then at home there's pizza... WHAT!?


Training rocks man. I'm addicted.
Maybe I'm becoming more SM than I thought.
JIAYOU WUSHU PEAPLE!!!
Ciaossu.

17082010

I wonder.
What gives me this motivation during this fasting period.
It's like I have an excess of energy(if I'm not training during the day).
Oh yes, I have to study.
After all the tests are coming in like 2 weeks?
Sheesh I'm a slacker.

"So how was the YOG holidays so far?"
Half of it was spent training(it so much 'fun' D=)
Finally FYP completed(I love my partner, he's awesome)
Some outings.
JYOG.
FASTING.
It's been pretty wicked if you asked me.

haiz.
suddenly u re-appear. next u sick.
ok just kidding.

I got my bed back.
My room's still in a mess tho.
I oughta help my mom restructure my room.
But I can't help but go out too often.
I need to learn to stay home. Geez.


MANU 3 - 0 NEWCASTLE

Yea this pisses of anti-manU ppl.
suck on it dudes.

Heck, I'm too random.
PS: I ain't gay. Love comes in many forms.

Ciaossu. Love ya all.

01082010

paiiin.
my neck hurts every time i try to lift it.

this weekend has been a "blast"
little time to do schoolwork.
i msged my fyp partner but he doesnt reply.
haiz.
im looking at the prices of what i think will be needed for our fyp.
not yet finished tho.
and im worried he doesnt tell me about another assignment too, for green buildings.
i cant let him work on his own.
i feel pretty left out.
and its unfair.
i shud talk to him 2moro.

ahh my bone's gonna break soon.
my whole body is sore.
my neck's gonna snap too.
i had to force myself out of bed to shower.
and the entire time out of the house, i had to tolerate the pain.
i find it hard to raise my head.
heck, its hard enough just to move it.

just now i was watching a movie and a concert.
for both things we sat through the hour and observed.
i swear i cudve felt like my head's gonna topple the moment i get off the seats.
just too hurtful la.

forget about it. im gonna sleep now. ciaossu.
and happy international friendship day^_^

27072010

Arif got poked by a sword.
Its all good people!
Arif's well alive and healthy.
Well, that's bad news for some people.
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ANYWAY

I think I've been cursed.
Things i used to do, I do no more.
Its like my whole daily life routine is no more the same.
Am I sick?
Last time, last time I used to go and hang out in the clubhouse from class dismissal to sundown, maybe even later.
I used to walk down the path at Food Court 5 oh so everyday but i do no more.
I used to think life has its fixed culture.

But now I choose my own culture.
I choose a culture thats weird, but strangely happy.

When I think of the kind of person I should be now, I realised I come from a culture born from an open(well half the time) Muslim family, a malengchindian(rojak) language, a Singapore(kiasu) way of life, ruled under PAP(men in white), with Singapore's economic status(oh my god, is that fifty cents?!), and the Singapore Ministry of Education's teachings(brainwash).

I've faced all that facts myself.
Some of my friends are weird thus so am I.
My dad lets me choose what I want as a toddler thus I grew up being indecisive.
Heard the story of retrenchment as a 7 year old and was traumatised by it.
Even till now.

I wanna create my own culture. My way of life.

A person I met says I'm weird.
Then he uses a rubber band and shoots it at me.
SNAP
It hits my face.
My friends saw what he did but stayed down.
I simply looked at him.
Imagine what would've happened had I been my old self.
BLOODSHED man.
Sometimes it's hard to reason with humans.
With that guy who rubber band-ed me?
I think that guy was pretty lonely.
Oh well.

Had humans in this world know more kindness.
This is my wish to mankind.

26072010

Ah, my body's gonna break soon. For some reason for the past few days i felt like my bones could just snap any moment. I feel heavy, its like my muscles tend to not listen to what i tell them to do. This sucks, especially when you are in the midst of the peak time of work with many people counting on you. I cant even find a joke to crack. Ah, I'm gonna faint soon.

I have a confession to make. I'm tired. Sometimes even at home I feel like the whole world's my enemy. Sometimes I don't wanna go out of my room where I can't go to the toilet without getting lectured at. The days I'm working my ass off in my room and the moment I leave the room I'm called lazy, or smbody's grumbling that I'm not being helpful at all. I can't bloody help it. If I don't wanna go out then don't force me. I don't need you to stand there making me feel like I'm the villain of the house. I'm in my room so I can freaking improve myself so I can help the household in the future. Is that so damn difficult to understand?! I'm just sick of it all.

Shit la, I'm pissed oreadi. I need to cool down. Everyone gets moodswings. I need some pikachu. That's right, pikachu.

070710

URGH.
Sometimes I think assignments are living things.
They keep reproducing over and over again.
I'm starting to think humans and assignments can get married.
Oh well.

Nowadays I tend to go home taking the Joo Koon train if i leave school before 5.
Its obviously because I wanna sit down throughout my trip home.
Define "lazy" -> It is a term to describe Fadhils.
I don't expect too much from trains to leave me a seat.
That's why there are people like me who are will to use half an hour just to ensure he gets a seat from one end of the island to the other.
Well, me being a good guy(ahem) am willing to give up my seat for the one who needs it more than me. Aren't I a great person???(narcissist mode)

Ahhh.
My laptop's adaptor is broken.
I don't have time to go Jurong East to fix it.
So now I'm using my dad's laptop.
Isn't he nice??? (that's where my greatness came from)
And I reach home today, and there's actually food!
Mommy's awesome too!
Continuing on to me lappy,
I can't access to my anime, music and so.
Worse of all, I can't access to my schoolwork.
It feels like I just got hit by a Hadouken.
So I'm doing what I can to make up for it.
Speaking of which, blogging does not count as "all I can"

ok random pic and off I go^^

04062010

hurray.
mst is coming and as usual i find time to blog around.
i cut my hair recently, and i think its a little weird?
i wonder what's your opinion?

k
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anyway,
during periods like these are when we students think of doing outings.
and "like these" i mean test periods.
well, some do and some dont,
but i sorta cant wait for the activities to do after the tests
..... only if there were any.

just around a week ago or less i went out with some of the wushu peeps,
also stayed in school late and went home with random ppl- i mean other ppl



but at the end of the day, i forgot that i was supposed to be studying.
congratulations myself.
well, here i am distracting myself from reality.
speaking of reality, do you know that lion's are lazy?
yes, and bananas are blue.
okok fine.
i'll blog summore if i have to.

ciaossu.

ME! ME! ME! 26052010

ok im bored.
so today's post shall be about nothing but myself.
im a narcissist!(for today- ah fine publicly for today)

ALL ABOUT ME





Favourites

- Colour: Red
- Fruit: Durian
- Animal: Lion
- Band: Muse
- Singer: Rossa
- Actor: Johnny Depp
- Actress: Erika Toda
- Sport: Can't decide
- Game: Final Fantasy IX
- Drink: Air Katira(Katira Drink, mostlly found in mosques)
- Movie: Spiderman 3
- Anime: Hayate No Gotoku!
- Brand: Nike(Sorie Ashraf)
- Food: Whooper
- Hobby: Exploring



i know i waste time a lot.
and i know im extremely lazy.
i can be emo at times, but im actually just bored of life
sometimes, i think i look fierce, well, maybe not.
i AM trying to be fiercer so the children at my club can become better ppl.
actually, im afraid of heights... and balloons.
(not counting the common fear of humans)
i enjoy listening to my friend's sweet voice.
sadism i do pretty much a lot.
i dont really like hanging out for too long.
getting homesick is trouble for me.
i shiver easily.
being near a certain someone, i feel troubled yet safe.
i enjoy joking with my friends(thats what friends are for)
porn i do NOT do.(jZ, u hear me!?)
i get irritated easily.
but im actually pretty tolerant.
i cant stand disrespect.
NOW IM GETTING HIGH.

well of course, a narcissit's gotta do what a narcissist's gotta do.
anyway, ive ignored "YOU" all the way.
its all about me in this post.
its actually pretty fun to find out about urself.
gotta try it.

CIAOSSU!

11052010

I don't feel like I'm going to be 19 this year.
I feel younger.
Although I gotta admit age is catching up to my body.
That's how I realise I'm not very young any more.
It's not nice, not pleasant to realise this.
If I could, I would stay a kid forever.
There are things I could do 10 years ago I can't do now.

Many things happened during this period, but I'm lazy to say them all so I'll summarise everything short.
- Overseas Industrial Training Programme
- Outings
- Trainings
- Grad nite
- CCA drive
- Freshmen Orientation Camp
- Barclay's Premier League

Yea, these things happened.
Time moves quickly when you'd least expect it to.
You meet new friends.
To some its hi-5, to others its goodbye.

Now, there's someone I'm worried about.
That person has an issue that may result in that person leaving for good.
Every time I'm near that person, I'd feel happy.
If that person's gone, I wouldn't know how to feel.
That person won't know how I feel.
Because that person is so near, yet so far.

haiz.

29012010

im too tired to sleep.
its not uncommon, well, i just got back from training.
my friends say they also cant sleep after training.
funny, the world is.

now im blogging, happily waiting for a frozen milo to melt completely.
some reports are completed, others are still in delay.
but this week is the most exhausting week since the start of school.

im tired.
i need more sleep.
my mind is all mixed up rite now.
i must've been too bored since morning.

anyways,
there's this game or so,
that i spread around my friends.
some forgot i started it.
or rather they thought it existed long time ago.
its nothing special, its basically rating the pretty girls around us from 1-10.
well, im a guy.
i do that sometimes.
so this morning on a pleasant way to school.
i thought there would be "nice views" on the train.
so i sat in the train, bouncing at pasir ris as i wanted to get a seat.
so i sat.
seconds flew by.
seconds turned to minutes.
and then i told myself.
what happened to the 7-pointers? the 7 and above angels?
the whole train journey became completely dull as i desperately looked around for a single ray of hope.
there were only elderly ladies, 6 and below pointers, and males.
disappointed, i leaned back on my seat.
the train is sooo full, i thought.
the train is sooo slow, i thought again.
can the train be slow with the presence of 9 pointers instead? (nononono, aint possible)
after a gruelling journey, my stop arrived.
i squeezed through the packs of people and caught a glimpse of a 7 pointer, sitting directly oppposite me.
well, i was blocked so i couldnt see.
she had a sweet face, and thats all.
that made my day.

ok, im gonna play restaurant city.
gambatte, everyone...

18012010

im a weird person.
when i do smtg wrong,
i can apologise to anyone while we are in all smiles.
but i cant seem to apologise to a good friend when we're both in the blue.

i guess when reflecting, i think im a jerk.
well, jerks do wrong things and dont apologise.
they are the reason why there is negativity in the world of face- i mean friendship.
if its a friend who im not very close to, i can apologise if ive done any wrong.
if its a good friend its even harder.
imagine if its a friend i call a brother. nearly impossible.

why ah?

i guess the way i reflect is thru blogging or disturbing my cat.
my cat runs away when i have eye contact with him for more than 5 seconds.
then i'll go chase it and tell my problems to it.
he's easier to converse with than humans.

speaking of blogging, isnt ironic where ppl of the past used to keep diaries which they write secrets, wishing it to be kept to the grave and now blogging lets the whole world(or so) read their stories.
ok, this may be an ancient topic but seriously, ironic.
maybe some ppl blog not revealing a single evidence of their identity,
but write down all their secrets hoping anyone wud read and understand them.
spreading the msg hiding their identity?
i dont blame them.
even i have secrets i wish to tell someone but cudnt cos of my pride.

i want encouragement!
i wanna live to enjoy every moment!
and i wanna die leaving no regrets.
to be the ultimate good guy.
living and dying beautifully.
well, these arent secrets.
but they're my wishes.

and i dont wanna lose out to bill gates, obama, ghandi or anyone
well i hate to lose.
its my nature.
ahhahaha i shud speak realistically.

speaking of reality, i have a re-test 2moro.
AHHHH IM DEAD!

15012010

Today is a day to remember.
I FINALLY DID MY FIRST RECOVERY!

ahem

recovery as in, lying on the floor, and jump back on your feet.
v O
o+< -> \+/ -> \'+'/
o /^\

ok u get the picture.


hey, altho many ppl can do this, for a literally heavyweight champion dude like me its like getting a nobel prize! ok, maybe a nobel prize is exaggerating. maybe getting a free fried kway teow wud be getting a better example of how happy i am.

thus, for today onwards, 15th January will be the day that inspires me to do things i thot i cudnt do.

my next target move to learn wud be the aerial cartwheel.

my ankle still hurts tho.

Coldplay - Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.