18012010

im a weird person.
when i do smtg wrong,
i can apologise to anyone while we are in all smiles.
but i cant seem to apologise to a good friend when we're both in the blue.

i guess when reflecting, i think im a jerk.
well, jerks do wrong things and dont apologise.
they are the reason why there is negativity in the world of face- i mean friendship.
if its a friend who im not very close to, i can apologise if ive done any wrong.
if its a good friend its even harder.
imagine if its a friend i call a brother. nearly impossible.

why ah?

i guess the way i reflect is thru blogging or disturbing my cat.
my cat runs away when i have eye contact with him for more than 5 seconds.
then i'll go chase it and tell my problems to it.
he's easier to converse with than humans.

speaking of blogging, isnt ironic where ppl of the past used to keep diaries which they write secrets, wishing it to be kept to the grave and now blogging lets the whole world(or so) read their stories.
ok, this may be an ancient topic but seriously, ironic.
maybe some ppl blog not revealing a single evidence of their identity,
but write down all their secrets hoping anyone wud read and understand them.
spreading the msg hiding their identity?
i dont blame them.
even i have secrets i wish to tell someone but cudnt cos of my pride.

i want encouragement!
i wanna live to enjoy every moment!
and i wanna die leaving no regrets.
to be the ultimate good guy.
living and dying beautifully.
well, these arent secrets.
but they're my wishes.

and i dont wanna lose out to bill gates, obama, ghandi or anyone
well i hate to lose.
its my nature.
ahhahaha i shud speak realistically.

speaking of reality, i have a re-test 2moro.
AHHHH IM DEAD!