20012012

SCS LO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's where I am right now. I've adapted to military life and I am no longer easily as shag as I was before. I think the one week break after the long, gruelling 4-5 months of BMT was a well deserved reward. I spent it mostly in Jakarta and Bandung^_^.

Gone thru the passing out parade on the 7th, was it? Walking with your 10-20kg field pack for 24 kilometres is no joke. In my case, had I not maintained my focus I would've probably fell apart when reaching 20km mark. I literally felt like my knees were about to snap.

BUT!

POP LO!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more recruit treatment for us! Hee hee heeeee....

Given more freedom really takes off the burden of discipline from your shoulders, and it also improves the creativity of your thinking. It's true! But SCS (training to be a specialist) is not too lenient, of course. First week we already use the Matador (smtg like a bazooka), M203 (a type of grenade launcher), Claymore Mine (a mine-_-''') aiya many many la, I shudn't say, sekali kena charged =P.

BUT!

I ain't no chao recruit no more, babeh. Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Now when first book out from camp, the first thing that I did was talking to my dad, and next, leaving the house to play netball with my sister and friends. Damn fun, I kid you not! Life is fun! Just now I somehow managed to activate my PS2 emulator on the laptop, that means I can PLAY MORE GAMES!!!! (Credits to my awesome bunk buddy, Diploma in Computer Engineering from NYP, Cadet Toh!!!!!)

All I'm missing is a girlfriend D=
Hahahahahaha I'll just leave that to life!
I miss my wushu ppl already though.
Confirm they miss me one =D

Ciaossu^_^

15012012

As times go by, some may wish for time to run faster, or to go slower. We might as well wish time could simply skip a period or it could just stop.

I just wanna be happy to watch those times.

when time moves like a raging river. Flowing quickly along with some awesome friends, having fun, and suddenly realising that its 2am in the morning.

when time moves like a travelling snail. Sitting on a soft patch of grass, watching the beauty of the mountains until the sun starts to set.

when time moves like a flash of lightning. Lying on your bed, on the phone talking to your most awesome person in the world, then falling asleep and to wake up that he or she's still there.

when time moves like... or when it doesn't. The moment when you gaze upon that awesome person's eyes, the moment when you touch his or her hand, the moment you feel the warmth of that awesome person. Whether its a touch, or a presence, or a kiss...

I'm not that significant of a person. I do not have much intellect involving IQ nor do I have good social skills, and those other skills involving EQ. If I were to make the best out of the very person I am, I can only shout it out loud. Quit dreaming, now is the time to go real. If there's still a dream, now is the time to turn it to reality.

What is my dream?
My what? Umm, no specifics? Just wanna live easy.

Is National Service hindering me from my dream?
Yes and No.

Care to explain?
No, I do not want to explain. If I do, I'll just start using this low-utility brain of mine.

No big dreams for me huh? Why don't I be a teacher? At least I'm a useful human being. I wanna be more than that but what? I've no ambition, no goal, no one to give chase to, and there's just that thing about me being irresponsible? Sigh.

Still searching...
Ciaossu.

23102011

Since i enlisted in the national service, ive always wondered if ive achieved smtg that is... real. ok lemme say out all the things which i have done so far before enlistment. in my last ivp with spwushu i earned a gold medal in the group category. i graduated from poly? worked in a network marketing industry. promoted to assistant coach position. taught secondary school students, if only just a bit. apart from all those ive just been a neet.

Is all that significant? people during that time are probably in the midst of developing the iphone5, and at the same time building the new mrt line all over singapore. sometimes i even find myself a burden to the singapore manpower. i failed to achieve good results for poly, i didnt even apply for uni, and the worse part, i lived on my dad's money. mostly. HAH heck abt being a burden to singapore. what kind of person would be a burden to his own family?? damn this!!

I used to have everything planned out. i wanted to learn mandarin, work for pub while at it. and at the same time, get a degree. the thing about getting a degree is that i dont even know what i want to learn! i suck at my own course, and nearly none the private unis are offering for stuff for me to continue what ive learnt in poly!

Going to supwushu trgs i keep seeing people get injured, and also people trg their muscles so they can jump further and higher, or trg their abs so they will have a better feel of their spinning techniques. then i realise ive always been interested in how the human body works during physical activities. then an thought occured to me. I wanna learn Sports Science. I still havent planned anything about it yet but im sure i wanna do smtg rather than remaining as a freeloader of a person.

Now in the national service im going through my BMT phase, eighth week, meaning i got around 10 more wks till POP and around 22 months to ORD. life here if simple. just listen to orders properly and make appropriate decisions wisely. and think fast. any mistakes, u just gotta learn from it. and do your best in activities. same thing about life. EXCEPT the physical burden is 9.1 in the scale of 10.

Every inside, we'll think of every little motivation we have to endure the training. girlfriends, family, crush, goals, dreams. yea. I think about my family all the time. I also think about a certain girl all the time too. i got myself rejected by her cos i was naive i guess. but im trying to move on. haha smtimes i get distracted by my thoughts of her that i dont concentrate on the trg that much. thank you short attention span of mine. ive always been very high. but lately, ive been feeling very agitated. i actually feel pretty much like shit today. i havent seen her for so long. yesterday was a birthday so i bought her a gift, hoping that she'll come. then my hopes dashed away...

oh well. im booking in approximately 4 hours. and i havent completed the planning of deeparaya. Oh yes, we're gonna perform dikir barat for deeparaya this tuesday, and im the director. so ive been doing shit research about dikir barat and indian dance and eventually mixing both. so can say im in deep shit now. still got time to blog, tweet, fb, manga, anime and myspace. and look at movies. this morning i ran with fairuz, ran to tampines. now i know how the crazy enhanced batch people train. crazy people. wait, im getting distracted. gonna finish dikir barat planning now so im gonna find smtg in life. Ciaossu.

12062011

I guess many things happened this year so far.
Its been the most challenging year ever.
Many things around this country and its people going thru changes.
All i expect to see is a better tomorrow.

This year I learnt what "feeling low" is all about.
I have never felt more nervous than any time in my life.
This excitement, I have not experienced before.
The year began more sad than I've ever been in my entire life.
Heartache has never been this painful.
Loss has never been this terrible.

Funny.
As long as I can remember, I have never cried so badly in my life as long as I can remember.
This year, I guess all those accumulated tears just gushed out.
It's not a bad thing.
I knew I've always been emotional since young.
The most memorable stuff are always the sadder things.
Fighting against life.
Mistakes were intentionally made.
I guess this is what growing up is all about.
All we need is just someone who we can hold on to.
No, the journey to find that someone is nothing easy.
But things won't be sad all the time.
Happy memories are sometimes forgotten.
But at least I know they happened.
At least life is not a lie.

Sakit hati pikir pasal dia.
Kalau dia tak ada, tak payah ku rasa rindu macam gini.
Nak cuba happy pon, kawan semua sibuk.
Kat rumah, hanya tahu main game saja.
Kat luar, duit hilang macam kocek berlobang.
Nak exercise, malas pula.
Tapi bila berpikir pasal apa nak buat, dia sentiasa dlm kepala.
Tak paham dia ah.
Suka pon tak boleh buat apape.
Dah kena reject.
Tak tahu macam mana nak menang hati dia.
Dia dah pergi negeri Cina.
Datang balik tak ada plan.
Kalau ada pon aku penakot.
Tak pernah tahu apa dia berpikir.
Terlalu susah nak paham.
Bila kat Cameron macam mata air pula.
Sampai rumah jadi kawan biasa.
Rindu lah.
Sakit hati betul.

Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way

An old song that I've always loved...


Remember me this way
Jordan Hill

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more apart of time, you're everywhere
I'll always cares

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe

Here Without You

Here Without You
3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

24082010

Bed Hair Day.

For your information I spent today mostly at home sleeping.
Its not that much of a surprise when you think in terms of a SP student.
Now is the YOG holiday period and people who have not much to do my understand.
Well, its not like I don't have much to do, today's just happens to be a lazy day.

Ah, I just remembered that I have to send my friend this thing for our FYP report.
So you can wait a little right??
A picture for you to think about while I do my things.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 hours later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I'm back. Actually I'm too tired to blog now. BUT WHAT THE HECK.
It seems I took abit too long on my work and thinking and manga.
Yes, its very hard to resist manga.
I'm trying my best.
I'm really really sleepy now but there's only an hour before 5 o'clock, in which the time when I'm supposed to eat before fasting during the day.

Oh yea.
The reason why tonight's post is called bed hair day is because I had bed hair.
For the whole day.
Ok, at least until halfway in NTUC.
Well of course, I had been dead asleep most of the day.
Just now I went to Eastpoint with that hair.
I didn't really care how it looked.
Its just that I get this bouncy feeling on my head the whole time.
That top picture didn't really show my bed hair, but boy was it bouncy.
My hair gets flat about an hour after leaving the bed(unless i showered)
ok fine i admit going to NTUC directly after waking up.
So I guess it flattened while i was marketing.
Luckily I have awesome hair.

Hey.
What's up with people, huh?
They all have their own desires and thanks to that parties emerge.
"Parties of different opinions"
All my life I always try to understand people and not be one-sided.
Nowadays I feel like I'm contradicting myself.
Sometimes I even realise that I lie to myself.
I look around at one angle, and then I notice that I worry about how people look at me than how I look at myself.
I feel that I put unnecessary pressure on myself.
Look how I became hesitant. Indecisive. Incapable.
"Change" is a horrible word.
Its a tiny word easy to pronounce.
Its a word that gives hope to people.
Yet its a word that hurts people to achieve what they want.
It is a word that challenges people.
It is a word that makes people struggle.
And "change" changes people.
That is how it is also beautiful.
And how I desire it.

Oh well.
I'm gonna endure for the next one hour.
Ciaossu.