13092009

Can you still see your dreams in the distant, starry sky?

Are they more vivid than they were when you were little?

When one forgets to put the emotions that overflow in one’s heart
to rest,

they burn the color of passion.

I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams,

no matter how far off they were.

But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart.

Dreams are more fragile and fleeting than a glass rose,

so then why are we destined to dream?

Sometimes two dreams can turn into love,

but there are also times when they can't.

Even when they're alone,

people want to share their feelings,

but it can be so hard.

Words are powerless to express one's feelings,

and sometimes they become a silver knife.

09092009

the things that we normally think about normally involve studies, relationships, entertainment so on and so forth.
dont we find thinking of something we dislike strange, or weird?
sometimes because of such things we dislike, allows us to change.
its like overcoming your weakness.
u my hate a certain subject thus u suck at it.
so u study hard to make it better.
at the end of the day, u realise that u had done well for ur hated subject.
and so u have achieved something.
well, if u dislike something u may have a negative effect on it, of course.
take me for example.
hate working.
keep lazing.
then penniless.
BUT there are people who are still happy hating stuff.
maybe because its part of their personality.
u can find others hating something attractive too.
like in comics, the ladies love the justice men who hates evil.
or how guys find girls hating bugs cute.
hey, as a guy, im no different.
i like thinking up stories that maybe go beyond the boundaries of possibilities.
although scientifically, they make sense.
there are also times i dream about being in a love story, no joke.
the worst love dreams are those which im about to kiss the girl(omg) then suddenly wake up.
its like when i wake up, AAAAAAAAA.
but its these dreams that allow me to think of what may happen in real life.
i hate dreaming in a relationship, but i dont mind living it.
the good things are always hardest to get, and at the end when you get it u be at the happiest.
what comes next?
emptiness?
noooo.
its called appreciation.
never forget how it felt before aquiring the thing u want.
always remember the path u took to find it.
i dont believe in "forgive and forget" because u'll end up making the same mistakes.
"forgive and forget" were probably created by those who dont want grudges.
maybe theyre afraid of the other party.
if u hate smtg, think positive.
think differently, and u'll have smtg waitng for u at the end of the road.

04092009

how does not being able to feel a thing feel like?
nothingness.
no joy, no sorrow, no love, no hate.
it doesnt feel right.
its as if you have no purpose in this world.
people exist for a purpose.
and the way they meet their purpose is through destiny.
as long as people are humans, theres no such thing as an empty shell.
even the most boring of humans would have a name.
freedom from emptiness is even better than freedom itself.

is this really the so-called lying to yourself?
cos as far as im concerned, ive lied alot.
even if my friends accept me the way i am, i change.
not that i want to.
i just do.
in time i just dont feel accepted.
its like i entered the wrong room although the door leads to my destiny.
i dont wanna be like this.
the weakling that i am.
the one who'll give up on smtg just because i think i cant do it alone.
the one who puts up a tough front but is really hurt.
the one who takes too much time thinking the unnecessary.

i looked at her across the cabin.
although we were barely 2 metres apart,
it felt like i was watching her from the sun.
when i said something, she couldn't hear me.
when i called her, she didn't answer.
when i looked at her, she wouldn't look at me.
are we just too far apart?
have i created a barrier only i can see?
are my words just meaningless to what i feel?
so i turned, and silenced myself in despair.

Happy birthday to my little sister btw if ure reading this.