03122008

birthdays are one of the most unimportant things celebrated in the social world. why? bcos they are. u can carry out a banquet just to celebrate ur birthday inviting 200 ppl in which u only noe one eighth of them. what a waste of money. yet why do people still celebrate this "joyous occasion"?

people are born with a will of their own. they feel, believe and evolve. we grow bitter or sweet. companionship is one of the solutions to this human characteristic. alone, people feel lonely, i feel lonely, u feel lonely, but isnt our family and friends out there ready to get to ur needs? as lonely as one gets, he or she will try to think of smtg nice. 'birthday? yea. i was born on this date. or rather i think i was. ah heck, whether i was born on this date or not i dont care. i have a birthday.' it is unimportant in the social world, yes, but is one of the most important thing that gives us motivation.

i never thought my birthday was important too. i only thought as long as the birthday person was happy then everything here is fine. i never thought birthdays would affect my state of mind. even when my crush's birthday passed, all i cud was 'happy belated, woman.' then i wud give my usual business smile and end the story wif her only saying 'thank you!' i guess im pretty dishonest to myself. wait, if im dishonest to myself how can i even tell? 'oh deary me', my classmate always say. if i say that i always think im being self-centered. i dont actually noe how to describe myself. i always thought i was self-conscious, arrogant, attention-seeking, helpless noob. but wen i think about my good side, i can only describe myself as a brother.

y i brought the birthday topic up is bcos today is a special friend's birthday. i didnt actually realise i haven enjoyed myself like this for so long. im surprised how celebrating his birthday can make me think so much. its not abt celebrating the birthday is important. its who u celebrate it with.

im currently in the process of changing. i think its for the better, rather than sticking to the easily moody person i think i am. i'll do my best for my family and friends. i wont disappoint u readers either^_^