22102009

life is unpredictable.
when we thought we have seen everything,
something happens to let us realise,
we know nothing.

as far as our mind opens up to,
or as closed as our mind shuts itself,
there is a door which controls the mind.

once upon a july, i was born.
i grew up in an environment that failed to teach me how to survive.
so i learnt about deception, lies, hatred, sorrow, all on my own.
i grew up hating the world.
at the same time i knew.
i could not hate the world.
the biggest lie i ever told,
was that i despise the life i had been given.
i grew up lonely.
i failed as a friend.
i failed as a leader.
i failed as a son.
however, people still believed in me.
whether doubtful or not they did.
i failed myself.
i lost my sense of belonging.
i am not even worth a cent or half of it.
i do not believe in myself.

no.

i have to throw away this unworthy me.
i cannot let anyone down anymore.
i cannot waste the life god has given me.
i cannot let go of the trust people have in me.
i cannot submit to myself that has given up all hope.

because.

i know nothing.
i need you.