myblogtonite

20012012

2012-01-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

SCS LO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's where I am right now. I've adapted to military life and I am no longer easily as shag as I was before. I think the one week break after the long, gruelling 4-5 months of BMT was a well deserved reward. I spent it mostly in Jakarta and Bandung^_^.

Gone thru the passing out parade on the 7th, was it? Walking with your 10-20kg field pack for 24 kilometres is no joke. In my case, had I not maintained my focus I would've probably fell apart when reaching 20km mark. I literally felt like my knees were about to snap.

BUT!

POP LO!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more recruit treatment for us! Hee hee heeeee....

Given more freedom really takes off the burden of discipline from your shoulders, and it also improves the creativity of your thinking. It's true! But SCS (training to be a specialist) is not too lenient, of course. First week we already use the Matador (smtg like a bazooka), M203 (a type of grenade launcher), Claymore Mine (a mine-_-''') aiya many many la, I shudn't say, sekali kena charged =P.

BUT!

I ain't no chao recruit no more, babeh. Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Now when first book out from camp, the first thing that I did was talking to my dad, and next, leaving the house to play netball with my sister and friends. Damn fun, I kid you not! Life is fun! Just now I somehow managed to activate my PS2 emulator on the laptop, that means I can PLAY MORE GAMES!!!! (Credits to my awesome bunk buddy, Diploma in Computer Engineering from NYP, Cadet Toh!!!!!)

All I'm missing is a girlfriend D=
Hahahahahaha I'll just leave that to life!
I miss my wushu ppl already though.
Confirm they miss me one =D

Ciaossu^_^

15012012

2012-01-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

As times go by, some may wish for time to run faster, or to go slower. We might as well wish time could simply skip a period or it could just stop.

I just wanna be happy to watch those times.

when time moves like a raging river. Flowing quickly along with some awesome friends, having fun, and suddenly realising that its 2am in the morning.

when time moves like a travelling snail. Sitting on a soft patch of grass, watching the beauty of the mountains until the sun starts to set.

when time moves like a flash of lightning. Lying on your bed, on the phone talking to your most awesome person in the world, then falling asleep and to wake up that he or she's still there.

when time moves like... or when it doesn't. The moment when you gaze upon that awesome person's eyes, the moment when you touch his or her hand, the moment you feel the warmth of that awesome person. Whether its a touch, or a presence, or a kiss...

I'm not that significant of a person. I do not have much intellect involving IQ nor do I have good social skills, and those other skills involving EQ. If I were to make the best out of the very person I am, I can only shout it out loud. Quit dreaming, now is the time to go real. If there's still a dream, now is the time to turn it to reality.

What is my dream?
My what? Umm, no specifics? Just wanna live easy.

Is National Service hindering me from my dream?
Yes and No.

Care to explain?
No, I do not want to explain. If I do, I'll just start using this low-utility brain of mine.

No big dreams for me huh? Why don't I be a teacher? At least I'm a useful human being. I wanna be more than that but what? I've no ambition, no goal, no one to give chase to, and there's just that thing about me being irresponsible? Sigh.

Still searching...
Ciaossu.

23102011

2011-10-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

Since i enlisted in the national service, ive always wondered if ive achieved smtg that is... real. ok lemme say out all the things which i have done so far before enlistment. in my last ivp with spwushu i earned a gold medal in the group category. i graduated from poly? worked in a network marketing industry. promoted to assistant coach position. taught secondary school students, if only just a bit. apart from all those ive just been a neet.

Is all that significant? people during that time are probably in the midst of developing the iphone5, and at the same time building the new mrt line all over singapore. sometimes i even find myself a burden to the singapore manpower. i failed to achieve good results for poly, i didnt even apply for uni, and the worse part, i lived on my dad's money. mostly. HAH heck abt being a burden to singapore. what kind of person would be a burden to his own family?? damn this!!

I used to have everything planned out. i wanted to learn mandarin, work for pub while at it. and at the same time, get a degree. the thing about getting a degree is that i dont even know what i want to learn! i suck at my own course, and nearly none the private unis are offering for stuff for me to continue what ive learnt in poly!

Going to supwushu trgs i keep seeing people get injured, and also people trg their muscles so they can jump further and higher, or trg their abs so they will have a better feel of their spinning techniques. then i realise ive always been interested in how the human body works during physical activities. then an thought occured to me. I wanna learn Sports Science. I still havent planned anything about it yet but im sure i wanna do smtg rather than remaining as a freeloader of a person.

Now in the national service im going through my BMT phase, eighth week, meaning i got around 10 more wks till POP and around 22 months to ORD. life here if simple. just listen to orders properly and make appropriate decisions wisely. and think fast. any mistakes, u just gotta learn from it. and do your best in activities. same thing about life. EXCEPT the physical burden is 9.1 in the scale of 10.

Every inside, we'll think of every little motivation we have to endure the training. girlfriends, family, crush, goals, dreams. yea. I think about my family all the time. I also think about a certain girl all the time too. i got myself rejected by her cos i was naive i guess. but im trying to move on. haha smtimes i get distracted by my thoughts of her that i dont concentrate on the trg that much. thank you short attention span of mine. ive always been very high. but lately, ive been feeling very agitated. i actually feel pretty much like shit today. i havent seen her for so long. yesterday was a birthday so i bought her a gift, hoping that she'll come. then my hopes dashed away...

oh well. im booking in approximately 4 hours. and i havent completed the planning of deeparaya. Oh yes, we're gonna perform dikir barat for deeparaya this tuesday, and im the director. so ive been doing shit research about dikir barat and indian dance and eventually mixing both. so can say im in deep shit now. still got time to blog, tweet, fb, manga, anime and myspace. and look at movies. this morning i ran with fairuz, ran to tampines. now i know how the crazy enhanced batch people train. crazy people. wait, im getting distracted. gonna finish dikir barat planning now so im gonna find smtg in life. Ciaossu.

12062011

2011-06-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

I guess many things happened this year so far.
Its been the most challenging year ever.
Many things around this country and its people going thru changes.
All i expect to see is a better tomorrow.

This year I learnt what "feeling low" is all about.
I have never felt more nervous than any time in my life.
This excitement, I have not experienced before.
The year began more sad than I've ever been in my entire life.
Heartache has never been this painful.
Loss has never been this terrible.

Funny.
As long as I can remember, I have never cried so badly in my life as long as I can remember.
This year, I guess all those accumulated tears just gushed out.
It's not a bad thing.
I knew I've always been emotional since young.
The most memorable stuff are always the sadder things.
Fighting against life.
Mistakes were intentionally made.
I guess this is what growing up is all about.
All we need is just someone who we can hold on to.
No, the journey to find that someone is nothing easy.
But things won't be sad all the time.
Happy memories are sometimes forgotten.
But at least I know they happened.
At least life is not a lie.

Sakit hati pikir pasal dia.
Kalau dia tak ada, tak payah ku rasa rindu macam gini.
Nak cuba happy pon, kawan semua sibuk.
Kat rumah, hanya tahu main game saja.
Kat luar, duit hilang macam kocek berlobang.
Nak exercise, malas pula.
Tapi bila berpikir pasal apa nak buat, dia sentiasa dlm kepala.
Tak paham dia ah.
Suka pon tak boleh buat apape.
Dah kena reject.
Tak tahu macam mana nak menang hati dia.
Dia dah pergi negeri Cina.
Datang balik tak ada plan.
Kalau ada pon aku penakot.
Tak pernah tahu apa dia berpikir.
Terlalu susah nak paham.
Bila kat Cameron macam mata air pula.
Sampai rumah jadi kawan biasa.
Rindu lah.
Sakit hati betul.

Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way

2011-04-30T23:51:00.000-07:00

An old song that I've always loved...

Remember me this way
Jordan Hill

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more apart of time, you're everywhere
I'll always cares

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe

Here Without You

2010-11-20T01:39:00.000-08:00

Here Without You
3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

24082010

2010-08-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

Bed Hair Day.

For your information I spent today mostly at home sleeping.
Its not that much of a surprise when you think in terms of a SP student.
Now is the YOG holiday period and people who have not much to do my understand.
Well, its not like I don't have much to do, today's just happens to be a lazy day.

Ah, I just remembered that I have to send my friend this thing for our FYP report.
So you can wait a little right??
A picture for you to think about while I do my things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 hours later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I'm back. Actually I'm too tired to blog now. BUT WHAT THE HECK.
It seems I took abit too long on my work and thinking and manga.
Yes, its very hard to resist manga.
I'm trying my best.
I'm really really sleepy now but there's only an hour before 5 o'clock, in which the time when I'm supposed to eat before fasting during the day.

Oh yea.
The reason why tonight's post is called bed hair day is because I had bed hair.
For the whole day.
Ok, at least until halfway in NTUC.
Well of course, I had been dead asleep most of the day.
Just now I went to Eastpoint with that hair.
I didn't really care how it looked.
Its just that I get this bouncy feeling on my head the whole time.
That top picture didn't really show my bed hair, but boy was it bouncy.
My hair gets flat about an hour after leaving the bed(unless i showered)
ok fine i admit going to NTUC directly after waking up.
So I guess it flattened while i was marketing.
Luckily I have awesome hair.

Hey.
What's up with people, huh?
They all have their own desires and thanks to that parties emerge.
"Parties of different opinions"
All my life I always try to understand people and not be one-sided.
Nowadays I feel like I'm contradicting myself.
Sometimes I even realise that I lie to myself.
I look around at one angle, and then I notice that I worry about how people look at me than how I look at myself.
I feel that I put unnecessary pressure on myself.
Look how I became hesitant. Indecisive. Incapable.
"Change" is a horrible word.
Its a tiny word easy to pronounce.
Its a word that gives hope to people.
Yet its a word that hurts people to achieve what they want.
It is a word that challenges people.
It is a word that makes people struggle.
And "change" changes people.
That is how it is also beautiful.
And how I desire it.

Oh well.
I'm gonna endure for the next one hour.
Ciaossu.

21082010

2010-08-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today is a day that we have lost a brother, a friend, and a beloved companion. Until now he has served his purpose, although with mishaps sometimes, but others with grace. He has opened my world and helped me in my tasks. He listened to my words and connected me to others'. Today I have lost... my handphone.

Anyway, just now was nearly so screwed up. I was waiting at Tampines MRT Station, alone, and with a broken handphone. Apparently out of 5 guys I'm supposed to meet, 4 of them said they'd be late. Thus I anxiously waited for the last guy, hoping that there won't be other problems.

5 minutes past the promised time.
Nothing.
So I thought "ok this is fine, its just 5 minutes... i hope he aint late or anything, if he messages or calls, i won't know no crap"

10 minutes past the promised time.
Nothing.
So I thought "ah, ive been been an hour late(not proud of it) and my phone's broken so i cant do no crap, seriously."

15 minutes past the promised time
He arrived.(If it was anime, I cudve said 5 hours later...)

Sooo, why was I waiting for the guy??
Cos it's Janice's birthday party today!
And we were meeting to buy her present!
WOOHOO!
Well, yea. The party's at a chalet in Pasir Ris, relatively "near" to my house.
Lotsa food, people, drinks, people, games, people, and also kids! Not to mention people.
I ate ALOT. When no one was looking. ALOT. Three plates, I believe.
Yea.
We played in one of the rooms alot.
From gay-wrestling to monopoly deal to mahjongg.
At one point I accidentally fell of the bed and thumped my head on the floor.
Good thing I'm a hardhead.
So many things happened including a guy holding another guy's hands during the phototaking time and after that came the talking.
Then theres cake and all, a typical fun birtday party €D.
Then theres the go home part.
I really wanted to stay.
But I'm fasting so it is inconvenient to stay away from from home for me and my family some reason.
So I sadly said goodbye, wrote smtg to Janice and ran to catch up with the people who left me behind (wah lao weh)

And then at home there's pizza... WHAT!?

Training rocks man. I'm addicted.
Maybe I'm becoming more SM than I thought.
JIAYOU WUSHU PEAPLE!!!
Ciaossu.

17082010

2010-08-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

I wonder.
What gives me this motivation during this fasting period.
It's like I have an excess of energy(if I'm not training during the day).
Oh yes, I have to study.
After all the tests are coming in like 2 weeks?
Sheesh I'm a slacker.

"So how was the YOG holidays so far?"
Half of it was spent training(it so much 'fun' D=)
Finally FYP completed(I love my partner, he's awesome)
Some outings.
JYOG.
FASTING.
It's been pretty wicked if you asked me.

haiz.
suddenly u re-appear. next u sick.
ok just kidding.

I got my bed back.
My room's still in a mess tho.
I oughta help my mom restructure my room.
But I can't help but go out too often.
I need to learn to stay home. Geez.

MANU 3 - 0 NEWCASTLE

Yea this pisses of anti-manU ppl.
suck on it dudes.

Heck, I'm too random.
PS: I ain't gay. Love comes in many forms.

Ciaossu. Love ya all.

01082010

2010-08-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

paiiin.
my neck hurts every time i try to lift it.

this weekend has been a "blast"
little time to do schoolwork.
i msged my fyp partner but he doesnt reply.
haiz.
im looking at the prices of what i think will be needed for our fyp.
not yet finished tho.
and im worried he doesnt tell me about another assignment too, for green buildings.
i cant let him work on his own.
i feel pretty left out.
and its unfair.
i shud talk to him 2moro.

ahh my bone's gonna break soon.
my whole body is sore.
my neck's gonna snap too.
i had to force myself out of bed to shower.
and the entire time out of the house, i had to tolerate the pain.
i find it hard to raise my head.
heck, its hard enough just to move it.

just now i was watching a movie and a concert.
for both things we sat through the hour and observed.
i swear i cudve felt like my head's gonna topple the moment i get off the seats.
just too hurtful la.

forget about it. im gonna sleep now. ciaossu.
and happy international friendship day^_^

27072010

2010-07-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

Arif got poked by a sword.
Its all good people!
Arif's well alive and healthy.
Well, that's bad news for some people.
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ANYWAY

I think I've been cursed.
Things i used to do, I do no more.
Its like my whole daily life routine is no more the same.
Am I sick?
Last time, last time I used to go and hang out in the clubhouse from class dismissal to sundown, maybe even later.
I used to walk down the path at Food Court 5 oh so everyday but i do no more.
I used to think life has its fixed culture.

But now I choose my own culture.
I choose a culture thats weird, but strangely happy.

When I think of the kind of person I should be now, I realised I come from a culture born from an open(well half the time) Muslim family, a malengchindian(rojak) language, a Singapore(kiasu) way of life, ruled under PAP(men in white), with Singapore's economic status(oh my god, is that fifty cents?!), and the Singapore Ministry of Education's teachings(brainwash).

I've faced all that facts myself.
Some of my friends are weird thus so am I.
My dad lets me choose what I want as a toddler thus I grew up being indecisive.
Heard the story of retrenchment as a 7 year old and was traumatised by it.
Even till now.

I wanna create my own culture. My way of life.

A person I met says I'm weird.
Then he uses a rubber band and shoots it at me.
SNAP
It hits my face.
My friends saw what he did but stayed down.
I simply looked at him.
Imagine what would've happened had I been my old self.
BLOODSHED man.
Sometimes it's hard to reason with humans.
With that guy who rubber band-ed me?
I think that guy was pretty lonely.
Oh well.

Had humans in this world know more kindness.
This is my wish to mankind.

26072010

2010-07-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

Ah, my body's gonna break soon. For some reason for the past few days i felt like my bones could just snap any moment. I feel heavy, its like my muscles tend to not listen to what i tell them to do. This sucks, especially when you are in the midst of the peak time of work with many people counting on you. I cant even find a joke to crack. Ah, I'm gonna faint soon.

I have a confession to make. I'm tired. Sometimes even at home I feel like the whole world's my enemy. Sometimes I don't wanna go out of my room where I can't go to the toilet without getting lectured at. The days I'm working my ass off in my room and the moment I leave the room I'm called lazy, or smbody's grumbling that I'm not being helpful at all. I can't bloody help it. If I don't wanna go out then don't force me. I don't need you to stand there making me feel like I'm the villain of the house. I'm in my room so I can freaking improve myself so I can help the household in the future. Is that so damn difficult to understand?! I'm just sick of it all.

Shit la, I'm pissed oreadi. I need to cool down. Everyone gets moodswings. I need some pikachu. That's right, pikachu.

070710

2010-07-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

URGH.
Sometimes I think assignments are living things.
They keep reproducing over and over again.
I'm starting to think humans and assignments can get married.
Oh well.

Nowadays I tend to go home taking the Joo Koon train if i leave school before 5.
Its obviously because I wanna sit down throughout my trip home.
Define "lazy" -> It is a term to describe Fadhils.
I don't expect too much from trains to leave me a seat.
That's why there are people like me who are will to use half an hour just to ensure he gets a seat from one end of the island to the other.
Well, me being a good guy(ahem) am willing to give up my seat for the one who needs it more than me. Aren't I a great person???(narcissist mode)

Ahhh.
My laptop's adaptor is broken.
I don't have time to go Jurong East to fix it.
So now I'm using my dad's laptop.
Isn't he nice??? (that's where my greatness came from)
And I reach home today, and there's actually food!
Mommy's awesome too!
Continuing on to me lappy,
I can't access to my anime, music and so.
Worse of all, I can't access to my schoolwork.
It feels like I just got hit by a Hadouken.
So I'm doing what I can to make up for it.
Speaking of which, blogging does not count as "all I can"

ok random pic and off I go^^

04062010

2010-06-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

hurray.
mst is coming and as usual i find time to blog around.
i cut my hair recently, and i think its a little weird?
i wonder what's your opinion?

k
k
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anyway,
during periods like these are when we students think of doing outings.
and "like these" i mean test periods.
well, some do and some dont,
but i sorta cant wait for the activities to do after the tests
..... only if there were any.

just around a week ago or less i went out with some of the wushu peeps,
also stayed in school late and went home with random ppl- i mean other ppl

but at the end of the day, i forgot that i was supposed to be studying.
congratulations myself.
well, here i am distracting myself from reality.
speaking of reality, do you know that lion's are lazy?
yes, and bananas are blue.
okok fine.
i'll blog summore if i have to.

ciaossu.

ME! ME! ME! 26052010

2010-05-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

ok im bored.
so today's post shall be about nothing but myself.
im a narcissist!(for today- ah fine publicly for today)

ALL ABOUT ME

Favourites

- Colour: Red
- Fruit: Durian
- Animal: Lion
- Band: Muse
- Singer: Rossa
- Actor: Johnny Depp
- Actress: Erika Toda
- Sport: Can't decide
- Game: Final Fantasy IX
- Drink: Air Katira(Katira Drink, mostlly found in mosques)
- Movie: Spiderman 3
- Anime: Hayate No Gotoku!
- Brand: Nike(Sorie Ashraf)
- Food: Whooper
- Hobby: Exploring

i know i waste time a lot.
and i know im extremely lazy.
i can be emo at times, but im actually just bored of life
sometimes, i think i look fierce, well, maybe not.
i AM trying to be fiercer so the children at my club can become better ppl.
actually, im afraid of heights... and balloons.
(not counting the common fear of humans)
i enjoy listening to my friend's sweet voice.
sadism i do pretty much a lot.
i dont really like hanging out for too long.
getting homesick is trouble for me.
i shiver easily.
being near a certain someone, i feel troubled yet safe.
i enjoy joking with my friends(thats what friends are for)
porn i do NOT do.(jZ, u hear me!?)
i get irritated easily.
but im actually pretty tolerant.
i cant stand disrespect.
NOW IM GETTING HIGH.

well of course, a narcissit's gotta do what a narcissist's gotta do.
anyway, ive ignored "YOU" all the way.
its all about me in this post.
its actually pretty fun to find out about urself.
gotta try it.

CIAOSSU!

11052010

2010-05-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like I'm going to be 19 this year.
I feel younger.
Although I gotta admit age is catching up to my body.
That's how I realise I'm not very young any more.
It's not nice, not pleasant to realise this.
If I could, I would stay a kid forever.
There are things I could do 10 years ago I can't do now.

Many things happened during this period, but I'm lazy to say them all so I'll summarise everything short.
- Overseas Industrial Training Programme
- Outings
- Trainings
- Grad nite
- CCA drive
- Freshmen Orientation Camp
- Barclay's Premier League

Yea, these things happened.
Time moves quickly when you'd least expect it to.
You meet new friends.
To some its hi-5, to others its goodbye.

Now, there's someone I'm worried about.
That person has an issue that may result in that person leaving for good.
Every time I'm near that person, I'd feel happy.
If that person's gone, I wouldn't know how to feel.
That person won't know how I feel.
Because that person is so near, yet so far.

haiz.

29012010

2010-01-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

im too tired to sleep.
its not uncommon, well, i just got back from training.
my friends say they also cant sleep after training.
funny, the world is.

now im blogging, happily waiting for a frozen milo to melt completely.
some reports are completed, others are still in delay.
but this week is the most exhausting week since the start of school.

im tired.
i need more sleep.
my mind is all mixed up rite now.
i must've been too bored since morning.

anyways,
there's this game or so,
that i spread around my friends.
some forgot i started it.
or rather they thought it existed long time ago.
its nothing special, its basically rating the pretty girls around us from 1-10.
well, im a guy.
i do that sometimes.
so this morning on a pleasant way to school.
i thought there would be "nice views" on the train.
so i sat in the train, bouncing at pasir ris as i wanted to get a seat.
so i sat.
seconds flew by.
seconds turned to minutes.
and then i told myself.
what happened to the 7-pointers? the 7 and above angels?
the whole train journey became completely dull as i desperately looked around for a single ray of hope.
there were only elderly ladies, 6 and below pointers, and males.
disappointed, i leaned back on my seat.
the train is sooo full, i thought.
the train is sooo slow, i thought again.
can the train be slow with the presence of 9 pointers instead? (nononono, aint possible)
after a gruelling journey, my stop arrived.
i squeezed through the packs of people and caught a glimpse of a 7 pointer, sitting directly oppposite me.
well, i was blocked so i couldnt see.
she had a sweet face, and thats all.
that made my day.

ok, im gonna play restaurant city.
gambatte, everyone...

18012010

2010-01-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

im a weird person.
when i do smtg wrong,
i can apologise to anyone while we are in all smiles.
but i cant seem to apologise to a good friend when we're both in the blue.

i guess when reflecting, i think im a jerk.
well, jerks do wrong things and dont apologise.
they are the reason why there is negativity in the world of face- i mean friendship.
if its a friend who im not very close to, i can apologise if ive done any wrong.
if its a good friend its even harder.
imagine if its a friend i call a brother. nearly impossible.

why ah?

i guess the way i reflect is thru blogging or disturbing my cat.
my cat runs away when i have eye contact with him for more than 5 seconds.
then i'll go chase it and tell my problems to it.
he's easier to converse with than humans.

speaking of blogging, isnt ironic where ppl of the past used to keep diaries which they write secrets, wishing it to be kept to the grave and now blogging lets the whole world(or so) read their stories.
ok, this may be an ancient topic but seriously, ironic.
maybe some ppl blog not revealing a single evidence of their identity,
but write down all their secrets hoping anyone wud read and understand them.
spreading the msg hiding their identity?
i dont blame them.
even i have secrets i wish to tell someone but cudnt cos of my pride.

i want encouragement!
i wanna live to enjoy every moment!
and i wanna die leaving no regrets.
to be the ultimate good guy.
living and dying beautifully.
well, these arent secrets.
but they're my wishes.

and i dont wanna lose out to bill gates, obama, ghandi or anyone
well i hate to lose.
its my nature.
ahhahaha i shud speak realistically.

speaking of reality, i have a re-test 2moro.
AHHHH IM DEAD!

15012010

2010-01-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

Today is a day to remember.
I FINALLY DID MY FIRST RECOVERY!

ahem

recovery as in, lying on the floor, and jump back on your feet.
v O
o+< -> \+/ -> \'+'/
o /^\

ok u get the picture.

hey, altho many ppl can do this, for a literally heavyweight champion dude like me its like getting a nobel prize! ok, maybe a nobel prize is exaggerating. maybe getting a free fried kway teow wud be getting a better example of how happy i am.

thus, for today onwards, 15th January will be the day that inspires me to do things i thot i cudnt do.

my next target move to learn wud be the aerial cartwheel.

my ankle still hurts tho.

Coldplay - Fix You

2010-01-09T09:03:00.001-08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Oasis - She's Electric

2009-12-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

She's Electric
Oasis

She's electric
She's in a family full of eccentrics
She done things I never expected
And I need more time
She's got a sister
And god only knows how I've missed her
On the palm of her hand is a blister
And I need more time

And I want you to know
I've got my mind made up now
But I need more time
And I want you to say
Do you know what I'm saying?
But I need more ....
Coz I'll be you and you'll be me
There's lots and lots for us to see
There's lots and lots for us to do
She is electric, can I be electric too?

She's got a brother
We don't get on with one another
But I quite fancy her mother
And I think that she likes me
She's got a cousin
In fact she's got 'bout a dozen
She's got one in the oven
But it's nothing to do with me

And I want you to know
I've got my mind made up now
But I need more time
And I want you to say
Do you know what I'm saying?
But I need more ....
Coz I'll be you and you'll be me
There's lots and lots for us to see
There's lots and lots for us to do
She is electric, can I be electric too?

16122009

2009-12-16T00:04:00.000-08:00

no more exams.
yay.
now im resuming training wushu(yipee!)
and going on holiday trips

went to Sarawak from saturday(12dec)
and just reached home yesterday(15dec)

it was pretty cool, i shud say.
of course, saying like this wudnt convince you yea?
apparently altho Sarawak is a Malaysian state,
the population of Malays only go up to 10percent.
thats fascinating dude.
chinese take up to 20-30percent and the rest are the natives who only speak god-knows-what language.
they call it sarawakan.
and the history of sarawak is even more awesome.
the ancestors of the natives used to be head hunters!
i mean LITERALLY head hunters!
i think my sis has the pics of the skulls.
wicked!

when i got home, i turned on msn.
so i chatted with my buddies.
then one of them got emo and all.

so i'll just type smtg to him(as in male).

To some unknown entity

She's like a drug, an addiction.
It's something he could never let go of.
Like how he saw the sky meet the horizon.
Like how he believed the ocean and earth could never separate.
The eternal mirror on his wall.
The inevitable attraction between love and chocolate.
Why has it been like this?
He only wanted to talk to her.
Just one last time.
Before he loses everything.

Damn that was cheesy.
My fingers are gonna rot off.
Anyway, i was playing basketball with a friend just now.
i realised she didnt have that much stamina to start with(hehehe)
thanks to wushu, my stamina's not bad.
and i can jump higher.(yessaaaa)

lets think.
holidays are fun wwhen u have the right people around you.
lets end it off with a bang.

bang.

04122009

2009-12-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

its more simple to observe than to do.
yet people do more than they observe.
its just more fun that way.
or maybe they just have the urge to do smtg?
exams come and go,
but whats important is the things that really matter to you.
im not talking about soccer and stuff(cos i commented that soccer is more impt than educcation, tee hee)
i mean, the people around you, ur family and friends.
i do think that way.
after all, i am a human first, a student second.
whoever disagrees abt wad i think about myself must think im a robot.
i read some other blogs(smtg i do pretty rarely) just now.
people tend to get really cute when they talk about their experiences.
like when they are on a train or on an outing.
its fun to watch lives build up around you.
thats why this is the most impt thing to me.
so people, we shud not let it go.

Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out Lyrics

2009-11-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

Oasis
Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone

21112009

2009-11-21T03:02:00.000-08:00

GAH!

seeing how its like,
there will be many things that will have to be done.
even though there are many things that are done,
there will still be more appearing.

in things endless road,
when will anything ever sort out for itself?
its like walking in an endless cave.
when the cave gets steeper,
we complain.
thats when our values come in.
whether it means to be a human or a machine,
no one has the right to judge which is better than the other.

the days get colder and i wanna be out there.
maybe just standing there.
or probably sitting here.
i dunno.
it gets more interesting.
understanding the situation,
reading between the lines,
knowing what the demands are,
its all the same.

its very fun.
i wonder who'll understand this.
i hope its able to be understood.
because not many will understand,
what this is truly is,
or who is it for.

smile always ^_^

01112009

2009-11-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

staring at my notes, i suddenly think about life... and yet again.

i realised i spent around 2 hours or less with them.
the rest of the day i wasted playing my games.
that told me what my life was worth if i had a free day.
its worth 2 hours of knowledge, 15 hours of gaming, and 7 hours of sleep.
in short, worthless.

i never really thought of what i wanted when i grew up.
its all the simple mindset of "get a good job, get married, get a life"

getting a good job is already like a 50 storey wall in life.
you gotta study and everything just to do so.
its a troubling obstacle which brainwashes you from young.

next is getting married.
looking at my cousin's wedding photos, i didnt realise that i was tearing.
i dont know why.
was i too miserable?
i think it happened when i looked at my cousin's happy face.
she was smiling brilliantly.
it occured to me of how happy she was at the moment.
it was happiness.
i guess i teared cos i hadnt known if i'd experience something like she did.

and it all sums to the part about getting a life.
the last part is basically fulfilled if i got the first 2.
well, i dont have too great of ambitions.
i guess while im still young, i wanna be the best i can.

before i get carried away let me remind myself im reaching my sleeping time.
ok.
feel free to comment about anything u wanna tell me about ur life.
i'll readily read/listen as a friend.

(btw hayate's birthday is on the 11th ^o^) random

22102009

2009-10-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

life is unpredictable.
when we thought we have seen everything,
something happens to let us realise,
we know nothing.

as far as our mind opens up to,
or as closed as our mind shuts itself,
there is a door which controls the mind.

once upon a july, i was born.
i grew up in an environment that failed to teach me how to survive.
so i learnt about deception, lies, hatred, sorrow, all on my own.
i grew up hating the world.
at the same time i knew.
i could not hate the world.
the biggest lie i ever told,
was that i despise the life i had been given.
i grew up lonely.
i failed as a friend.
i failed as a leader.
i failed as a son.
however, people still believed in me.
whether doubtful or not they did.
i failed myself.
i lost my sense of belonging.
i am not even worth a cent or half of it.
i do not believe in myself.

no.

i have to throw away this unworthy me.
i cannot let anyone down anymore.
i cannot waste the life god has given me.
i cannot let go of the trust people have in me.
i cannot submit to myself that has given up all hope.

because.

i know nothing.
i need you.

13092009

2009-09-13T09:06:00.001-07:00

Can you still see your dreams in the distant, starry sky?

Are they more vivid than they were when you were little?

When one forgets to put the emotions that overflow in one’s heart
to rest,

they burn the color of passion.

I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams,

no matter how far off they were.

But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart.

Dreams are more fragile and fleeting than a glass rose,

so then why are we destined to dream?

Sometimes two dreams can turn into love,

but there are also times when they can't.

Even when they're alone,

people want to share their feelings,

but it can be so hard.

Words are powerless to express one's feelings,

and sometimes they become a silver knife.

09092009

2009-09-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

the things that we normally think about normally involve studies, relationships, entertainment so on and so forth.
dont we find thinking of something we dislike strange, or weird?
sometimes because of such things we dislike, allows us to change.
its like overcoming your weakness.
u my hate a certain subject thus u suck at it.
so u study hard to make it better.
at the end of the day, u realise that u had done well for ur hated subject.
and so u have achieved something.
well, if u dislike something u may have a negative effect on it, of course.
take me for example.
hate working.
keep lazing.
then penniless.
BUT there are people who are still happy hating stuff.
maybe because its part of their personality.
u can find others hating something attractive too.
like in comics, the ladies love the justice men who hates evil.
or how guys find girls hating bugs cute.
hey, as a guy, im no different.
i like thinking up stories that maybe go beyond the boundaries of possibilities.
although scientifically, they make sense.
there are also times i dream about being in a love story, no joke.
the worst love dreams are those which im about to kiss the girl(omg) then suddenly wake up.
its like when i wake up, AAAAAAAAA.
but its these dreams that allow me to think of what may happen in real life.
i hate dreaming in a relationship, but i dont mind living it.
the good things are always hardest to get, and at the end when you get it u be at the happiest.
what comes next?
emptiness?
noooo.
its called appreciation.
never forget how it felt before aquiring the thing u want.
always remember the path u took to find it.
i dont believe in "forgive and forget" because u'll end up making the same mistakes.
"forgive and forget" were probably created by those who dont want grudges.
maybe theyre afraid of the other party.
if u hate smtg, think positive.
think differently, and u'll have smtg waitng for u at the end of the road.

04092009

2009-09-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

how does not being able to feel a thing feel like?
nothingness.
no joy, no sorrow, no love, no hate.
it doesnt feel right.
its as if you have no purpose in this world.
people exist for a purpose.
and the way they meet their purpose is through destiny.
as long as people are humans, theres no such thing as an empty shell.
even the most boring of humans would have a name.
freedom from emptiness is even better than freedom itself.

is this really the so-called lying to yourself?
cos as far as im concerned, ive lied alot.
even if my friends accept me the way i am, i change.
not that i want to.
i just do.
in time i just dont feel accepted.
its like i entered the wrong room although the door leads to my destiny.
i dont wanna be like this.
the weakling that i am.
the one who'll give up on smtg just because i think i cant do it alone.
the one who puts up a tough front but is really hurt.
the one who takes too much time thinking the unnecessary.

i looked at her across the cabin.
although we were barely 2 metres apart,
it felt like i was watching her from the sun.
when i said something, she couldn't hear me.
when i called her, she didn't answer.
when i looked at her, she wouldn't look at me.
are we just too far apart?
have i created a barrier only i can see?
are my words just meaningless to what i feel?
so i turned, and silenced myself in despair.

Happy birthday to my little sister btw if ure reading this.

31082009

2009-08-31T08:16:00.000-07:00

Regular days are boring.
Well, isnt that why its regular?
Then again, i dont want too many things to happen in one day.
It'll take a week for me to absorb everything.
Why does it take 10 Fadhils to understand one structures question?
Because 10 Fadhils = 1 Civil Engineer
Although one Fadhil alone can be defined as a genius(self-proclaimed).
I like my shoes because they're mine.

The land called Simville
By Muhammad Fadhil bin Abdullah

Fayte did not want to move to Simville.
He loved his old house in Kembale.
Whether he wanted to or not he was forced to live there.
So he examined the new neighbours.
They spoke a language he didnt understand.
Then the 7 year old went to explore the neighbourhood on his own.
He got lost.
He found himself staring at a bunch of boys playing soccer at a nearby field.
Dilema : Play or Ask for directions
Its like a dating sims game that your fate depends on which option he chose.
He chose play.
The boys gladly welcomed him.
He played goalkeeper.
Since then everyday he goes to the field to play soccer.
The boys were always awaiting his arrival.
He then forgotten that he had actually moved away from his old home.
As he reached secondary one, he became wanted on the list of the under-17 national soccer players.
He rejected the offer, knowing his true interest was not soccer, but architecture.
So he studied hard through secondary school.
Along the way he found himself more friends, and people he could trust with his life.
Whether it was girls, studies, family or anything else they worked together.
Fayte and his pals fought through thick and thin all the way to their graduation.
Fayte looked at his home now that 9 years had gone since he'd moved.
He still hated Simville.
But now for a different reason.
Why hadn't he lived here earlier?

29082009

2009-08-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

the thing about feeling lonely is that
you dont realise it until theres no one around you.
it could be that you want to be alone.
or you dont have many friends.
enjoying life is technically opposite of what we call being lonely.
well, u cant enjoy anything if you have no companions can you?

yes ah.
my jacket collection has been increased from one... to two.
my shoe collection?
i have a pair of casuals, one spikes, one sports... i think thats that.
wait, i forgot to include the wushu shoes too. that makes 4.
am i that bored to count how many shoes i have?

humans are the best species ever created.
and humans also has the worst influence on the environment.
but they create pretty good music.

My Friend The Manga Artist. (based on a false story)
by Muhammad Fadhil bin Abdullah

There was a boy.
His name is Fira.
He just got rejected by a girl he had liked for very long.
After getting rejected, he became an otaku.
For some reason, he makes friends with retard otakus pretty well.
He suddenly got a goal in life.
This was because his boyhood retard friend, Lihdaf commented he was living an aimless life, and that he will be a worthless creature in a country ran by money.
So Fira studies.
Then he realised he wasnt as smart as a fifth grader.
His only talent is to draw ecchi manga.
So he asked Lihdaf to help him in life.
Then Lihdaf told Fira he would help him... next year when Lihadf was in Germany.
Rejected by Lihdaf, Fira gave up and became a hikikomori in his parents' house.
He only came out of his room to watch anime aired on tv.
Wasting time playing hentai sims, he came across an ad.
"SKILLED MANGAKA WANTED"
To end his hikikomori days, he got a job as a manga art instructor.
Eventually he met a weird otaku girl and got married to her.
Then he got kids, yadda yadda yadda...
30 years after getting that job, he was shifting his house.
He then came across the same old ad while he was packing.
He realised the ad came with a note.
The note stated

"Oi im a German millionaire now.
Having fun with sweet babes here.
The manga firm is part of my company.
Dont be a lonely hikikomori, u worthless bum.
I'll be in Germany forever so call me once in a while.
Your retard friend, Lihdaf."

The letter was dated the year after Lihdaf left for Germany.
So Fira called everyone knew (there werent many) to find Lihdaf.
Then he eventually he found Lihdaf's address in Germany.
So he went there.
There, he only found Lihdaf's 4 wives, 11 children and a grave.
Apparently Lihdaf just died.
He left Fira another letter.

"Oi, i must be dead by now.
i had one freaking awesome life a man can experience.
Fira u didnt call me a single time u loser.
Servants should obey their master.
U kept ur master waiting for 30 years.
If u read this then i hope my virus will spread to u cos im dying rite now.
Nah just kidding.
Take care ok, pal."

15082009

2009-08-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

Hisashiburidana.
Lama tak jumpe.
Hao jiu bu jian.
Long time no see.

STUDYING TIMES have not ended.
i assure u, i always have smtg better to do whenever i blog.
maybe i may have sometimes said that im bored and have nothing better to do.
well, thats not true.
maybe i also have said before.
blogging is a way to DE-STRESSIFY urself.
its like drinking beer.
with the exception u dont get drunk.
thus ure always conscious.
blogging is one way to clear my thoughts.
drinking is a quick way to gain a beer belly.
so i dont drink.
obviously.

i hafta revise my studies.
no blogging or fooling around.
exams are next week.
and the week after next.
and the week after the week after next.

by the time i wud be fasting.
at the same time going to intensive trainings on mondays and fridays.
but nooo studying!
bullshit.
i still have to revise now.
tata, wishing im able to pass all modules.

23072009

2009-07-23T05:27:00.000-07:00

hey there.
im in the midst of studying.
or not.
im not gonna blog for a while.
after all, blogging is a drag.
so i'll just summarise what telah happened and what akan happen.
- studying
- mangaing
- animeing
- projecting
- sleeping
- eating
- emoing
- restaurant citying
- walking
- talking
- breathing
- everyday things in life
- ing

I met you somewhere beneath the rainbow.
No matter when, I want to be looking at the same blue sky.
I'll gather up pieces of dreams, shining colorfully like the stars.
Because the answer I'm looking for will be there.

I felt a signal pass through today, as I went to meet you.
Because a shining wind brushed my cheek in the busy city.
Amongst the clouds, no ladders towards the angels could be seen.
Holding your hand, I could go anywhere in a never-ending gentle ride.

My heart hurts, to tell you the truth, something seems to be astray.
At the end of the day, I wonder what tomorrow will be like?
Confused in a crowd, it becomes a blur.

Now when I look at the blue sky, the anticipation I have for the future I yearned for disappears.
Before I knew it, we're walking our different ways.
A couple can only see the same love.
Because their smiles are binded together.

Be next to me more, be closer to me, I want to know how you feel.

09072009

2009-07-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

of all the time in the world for my xp to crash, y did it crash the moment i was about to print my hydraulics report. OH GOD!!!
well, at least theres the vista side.
so rather than complaining about my lost report i might as well do it from scratch before the new day comes.
geez.
anyways, my average sleeping time has dropped from 4 hours to 3 hours.
how great is that???
frankly, i TRY to study for all the times i was awake but it seems i get distracted by this tool im typing on as well as a lavender-coloured tool with many buttons and can play these things called 'UMD's.
probably you people wont understand what im saying as always.
only i can understand what im trying to say.
its just against my nature to put smtg to be so straightforward unless its neccessary.
and now im taking a break.
from what i can see, the report im doing rite now hasnt even reached half a page.
why? cos im blogging, duh.

facebook
what a fearful tool.
amazing as it is.
making others look like fools.

blogging
involves typing.
without this 'blogging'.
i wud probably be eating.

manga.
sounds like a fruit.
eaten in a salad.
actually, its not a food.

anime.
its one thing influential.
to young and dumb children.
who thanks to this lost their potential.

ok enough randomness for 2dae.
i nid to do my report.
seriously.
my report is waiting for me.
waiting waiting waiting.
yes.
oo my friend just replied.
aiya i thot he wanted smtg more interesting.
lets make milo.
OIII MY REPORT!!!

26062009

2009-06-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

ahaha.
the more i complain the more time i consume.
especially with my tight schedule, i really shudnt waste time.
ah fine. i have the whole day to slack 2dae.
then again, my schedule is packed to my opinion.
but im still slacking.
2moro i must reach marina barrage at 6.
yay.
i wonder how my friends are doing.
now that i barely see the changkat peeps(i rarely even see the blacks, wow)
well i saw my current classmates yesterday.
it wasnt even for a long chat.
and wushu hunks and babes.
not at all after last monday.
plus on monday, many of them werent present.
now that i say this, one week isnt really a long time.
but inside of me keeps telling, imagine when ive graduated.
i'll be in the same state, with exception that we'd not meet at all.
how i manage i dunno.
what i know is thati sorta wanna see them again.
im ok with with a tight schedule, but i wanna have fun with my friends.

all my talk abt life is putting me to sleep.
i wont be surprised if my head just lands on the keyboard.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuihuhuhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuhiiiiiiiii
thats what my head will probably type.
i want a DEWT chalet!
six classes.
3 cohorts.
many hot people.
ahahahaha.
but i think its fun to chat with the people of the third year and first year.
ive met not many 3rd years, and i know all the 2nd years.
ive never seen the freshmen.
i wanna mit them!
who knows, there may be an extremely cute girl in the group.
it will be an insult to the wushu handsome club if i dont get her phone number.
of course we never get insulted.
ahaha kidding.

anyway, rave is a nice anime, abit ecchi, but nice.
i read the manga until the end.
reaching to the end, it was nice.
but the last chapter was unsatisfying.
u noe about anime, i never like it when the main characters who died are suddenly miraculously revived by some event only god understands.
its irritating to me, really.
why cant the dead just stay dead?
aside from rurouni kenshin and code geass, i find this idea in animes like naruto, pokemon (haha, pokemon) and rave as mentioned pretty lame.
suddenly at the end the hero who supposedly dies shows up.
or suddenly by some power that revives people(and pokemon)
RAVE SPOILER!
ELIE is RESHA VALENTINE!

ok that was random.

21062009

2009-06-21T05:02:00.000-07:00

yes yes everyone's complaining about the extreme short amount of time we have for our holidays.
and my holidays so far has been pretty much of a whirlwind.
i havent slept, havent played enough and most importantly havent slacked enough.
and you call this a holiday!?
ahaha.
the best place to spend your holidays is probably japan, with your family or friends.
but travelling is expensive so i'd rather go to school.
its really fun to go overseas.
i wish there'd be a time i get to go overseas with both my family and friends.
of course its free and easy.
tours are alright, but most of your time is pretty much controlled.
when its free and easy, you can choose where to go on your own.
so you'd probably take a taxi to travel around the whole area.
like say, kuala lumpur, malaysia.
well, i went there a few days ago on a tour.
it was nice alright.
i decided that one day i'd come back to kl on a free and easy holiday trip.
im targeting some of you people, alright?
better be prepared to go backpacking!
ahaha.
so about the holidays, i finished and hydraulics practical report, i did some effort on the maths pbl, im checking out the soil science practicals waiting for my group mates to alert me on the report, and hoping my noise pollution practical report done by my groupmates are alrite.
whew.
that was a long sentence.
probably the summary of my worries.
haiz.
im bored.
can i call up a girl for a date?
any girl?
ok fine not any girl.
i have no idea who to call.
too many girls.
hahahahhas.

20062009

2009-06-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

im jealous of japan.
theres many festivals, and even more fun.
in singapore, well, its pretty boring.
not to say that its like a ghost town, but time moves to quickly here.
and time is money.
before we know it, japan would evolve into another singapore.
for some reason, i think its inevitable.
japan is like, having festivals at certain times.
girls would wear yukatas, and ask the boys to go to the fests with them.
i dont even know whether japan still has these kind of things.
i havent even been to japan before.
maybe im imagining too much, maybe japan doesnt have those kind of things.
all those thing only appear in anime or so.
things like goldfish catching, sweet eating, fireworks and stuff.
well, singapore has such places called 'pasar malam' meaning 'night market'
if u look at it, its very similar to those kind of festivals.
but then, the pasar malam has never given to me a festival feeling before.
theres no fun in it.
now in the streets, when u light up fireworks, the police may charge u for playing with fire.
especially, when u do it with ur friends.
u'll probably be charged for illegal gathering.
thats ridiculous.
yes, the rules are put up to protect us from any terrorist or so.
but is following order worth the cost of removing the joy of being human?

haiz.
its wonderful how jokes between friends can just some and go.
they say the moments last forever.
well, we will remember all the times we had.
and probably in ten years or so, we will joke about the past too.
like say how i danced a realli girlish dance,
how that girl looked asleep,
or how those guys sexually harrassed each other (ahahaha, my personal favourite)
its actually ok to forget some memories.
not all memories are important anyway.
the thing that you have to remember is that,
all these moments actually happened.
it may not go by a second time.
live life to its fullest.

16062009

2009-06-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

running through the fields
feeling the wind through your hair
watching the sun fall into the horizon
and then catching the first visible star

this has not happened to me. darn it.

so the hols are a little exhausting, big deal.
an ideal hols will be going to hawaii and enjoying the sight of bikini women.
i dont think so.
its realli a waste of effort to go hawaii.
try going austraila instead.
nicer people and nicer country.
but nothing beats a good nap at home.
slacking at home is nice.
and if ure bored, call ur friend down for a walk, or go for a date.
going on dates, u nid to have a heavy wallet, each other, love, as well as mood.
dates are not cool.
they are sweet.

chicks chicks chicks.
all the way from sunday.
last sunday night i saw chicks.
yesterday night i saw chicks.
just now i just saw chicks from kfc.
and sweet sweet singapore.
theres still chicks everywhere.
i wanna eat fish instead.

rossa songs are simply wonderful.
knowing the meaning of the song brings the song to greater heights.
once i played a rossa song in my psp, it almost brought me to tears.
woohoo.
and rossa is cute.
you have to admit that she is.
although i still prefer aya hirano.

those who rule the world are either geniuses or complete idiots.

05062009

2009-06-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

ahaha. interesting facts.
always check the last bus correctly.
never leave ur slippers in ur clubhse.
try to wear pants with pockets to carry ur wallet and cellphone.
people who walk solo arent always emo-ing.

YAY! YAY! YAY!
finally the hols.
exams over.
but assignments are still a drag.
and there always performances.
not bad.
its fun to perform in other places u havent went to b4.
like in sec sch, i hav no idea where i was going to perform wif my malay poetry team.
it turns out to be in a library.
fun place, huh?

now im currently in a prep camp where the gorgeous peeps of wushu are preparing for the gorgeous juniors to enjoy.
and in the morning my family wants to go to johore.
yay.
so i sorta gotta rush off.
its pretty sad.
but i dun think ive told any of them that im gg off early.
hahas, let it be a shock.

stoning is the solution for moving.

25052009

2009-05-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

noooo
i did study. but not to the extent i want myself to!!!
i did my assignments, but they're not even complete!!!
exclaimation mark!!!!!!

alrighty.
my friend's hair is very long.
if i hadnt cut my hair, i'd easily compete with him.
seriously.
give him one more year and he'll start looking like dio or the guy in dragonforce.
speaking of hairdos, y did i cut my hair.
hmm i wonder.
the reason must be because pantene asked me to advertise for them.
i didnt want to so i cut my hair.
nononono this is not lame. it is serious busy. no joke.
im too handsome to be like this} says the guy thinks hes handsome.

omg my lappy hanged eight times 2dae.
how sucky is that.
even if it jams a little i can live with that.
but this hes is making my mr jackal come alive.
i'll probably turn into the hulk when i wake up next morning.
and so im off to do assignments.
yes.
to do assignments.
wishful thinking.

16052009

2009-05-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

its funny how i can get distracted so easily.
one minute ago i was doing an assignment.
before i knew it, im blogging!
ahaha.
two and a half weeks of word-free adventures.
wad kind of adventures are those?
maybe i climbed mount everest?
maybe i jumped down eiffel tower?
who knows.
sounds fun tho.
and scary.
and speaking of adventures, lets have a session of talking with someone i noe very much. isnt this ridiculous?

16/05/2009 10:47:56 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "hey yo dude"
16/05/2009 11:07:24 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "yo gay!"
16/05/2009 11:07:27 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "sup"
16/05/2009 11:07:44 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "thanks ar!"
16/05/2009 11:07:46 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "lolx"
16/05/2009 11:07:53 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "ahaha"
16/05/2009 11:07:57 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "i am too bored in msia"
16/05/2009 11:08:05 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "nothnig to do LOL"
16/05/2009 11:08:06 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "entertain mi"
16/05/2009 11:08:08 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "msia?"
16/05/2009 11:08:11 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "ure at hm?"
16/05/2009 11:08:20 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "haha"
16/05/2009 11:08:23 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "at my sister's house"
16/05/2009 11:08:28 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "tonioght i staying over at her place"
16/05/2009 11:08:31 PM Jianwei Fadhil. "=)"
16/05/2009 11:08:42 PM Fadhil. Jianwei "Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history."

MY PSP SPEAKER IS AT ITS LIMIT!?

ahaha. sad.
i still have some stuff to ask my lecturer and/or classmates about my assignment.
and i am here blogging.
yay!
im SUPPOSED to mit my friend now
and so i picked up the phone and
fadhil : ahaha sorie todae got soccer match ah
zul : yah i noe, i was wondering wen u'd call
fadhil : obviously lar, manu win or draw oreadi win league title ma
zul : yah lah, and imagine IF dey lose, dey still got one more game in hand dah
fadhil : SHOCKING lehh
zul : and wads more, the game in hand is wif hull city sah
fadhil : wah lau weh dat team lousy sia
zul : manu confirm trash hull liao
fadhil : sian
zul : how?
fadhil : 2moro we mit lar dey!
zul : see first ah. maybe i lazy liao.
fadhil : go die lar.

*info* the singlish terms i obviously exaggerated in ourconversation are "ah", "ma", "yah", "lah", "dah", "lehh", "sah", "sia", "liao", "sian", "lar dey", and "lar".
i scored 100% for the singlish test for my cat. yay.

i missed out "wah lau weh".

29042009

2009-04-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

o.0
Federer just owned Karlovic.
in two straight sets too!
wow.
i wanna be federer.
hes so cool.
but hes not handsome.
because hes not in sp wushu.
yay.

ahaha.
class wasnt too bad.
in fact, it was pretty enjoyable.
unexpected.
i thought i'd have another horrible day.
it was alright.
i barely have time to rest these days.
so as a result i still havent recovered from the flu.

what are personas?
ok this is random.
lemme find in wiki.
...
...
...
PERSONA
A persona, in the word's everyday usage, is a social role or a character played by an actor. This is an Italian word that derives from the Latin for "mask" or "character", derived from the Etruscan word "phersu", with the same meaning. The word is also thought to be derived from Greek, "per" meaning "through" and "sona" meaning "sound", meaning something in the vein of "that through which the actor speaks", i.e. a mask (early Greek actors wore masks).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona

so people have different personas.
DEBATE!
isit a good thing or a bad thing?
the good thing is, we're all unique.
thus we can get different and unique ideas.
the bad thing is, people may not understand each other.
thus it'll lead to conflicts and opposition.
funny how good stuff turn bad so easily.

and so i lived another day full of randomness and unique ideas aka crap.
and so manu's match will begin in like 2 and a half hours time.
now is midnight.
great life.
i aint gonna sleep cos my class starts at 8.
the game ends around 5.
i have to prepare for class at 6.
i have to leave the house to catch the train at 6.40.

y am i telling u my time schedule?
dunno.
maybe some pretty girl will read this and wait for me at the train?
ahahahahahahahahaha.
seriously.

26042009

2009-04-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

twinkle twinkle little star~~~~
lalala...

every time i wanna write a post for this blog, i question myself.
is updating this blog regularly utterly necessary?
well, people do read it... sometimes...
PEOPLE DO READ MY BLOG DONT THEY?!
ok.
in assuming you are actually reading this blog, i want to assure you.
this blog has been created by:
FADHIL
designed by :
FADHIL (noooo!!! liessss!!!)
written by :
FADHIL
updated by :
FADHIL
celebrated by :
FADHIL

oh man.
i caught the flu.
bad cough.
bad cold.
bad voice.
good looks.
im gonna go to school 2moro bringing lotsa lotsa tissue.
geez, i hope i wont disrupt the class in any way, HAAIISHUU!!!!!!
then im gonna dance gee when that happens.

whoa hinata didnt die.
lucky.
kakashi died.
lucky- i meant tragic.

how am i supposed to noe wad telah happened to me?!
i was born good.
i grew up well.
and thanks to my frens i became healthily insane.
i like it.

ok all that came out todae was random.
its a pretty chilly nite.
or isit the fan directly in front of me?
i am The Fadhil, baby. chiao.

25042009

2009-04-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

a mess i should say.
whats done is done.
all thas left is to look forward towards the future.

yea.

maybe some stuff wont have any second chances,
but for some reason good stuff will happen to you naturally even if you don't expect
them to.
even to me too.
i don't know why.
its just some way of god saying He loves you.

sooooo.
grading test is over for my darling wushu.
yay.
and for that matter, i don't know what comes after that.
i don't know what i'll see first during training on monday.
a mad dog? (aka coach, hehehe...)
or slave driver? (aka vice-captain, lalala...)

being too laid back is noo good.
i have experimented on the effects of laid-backness and the results...
gpa nvr reach 2.0 ToT
ahaha.
so don't be lazy!
so life goes on topsy-turvy.
its great!
waay more interesting that way.

so in the end,
never give up, never surrender.
a wall can never be tall enough to stop you from doing your best.
only you can carve your own path.

22042009

2009-04-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

ok, i'll admit first impressions are important.
but what comes after that?
silence?
ok, imagine there was a teacher who is all excited because its her first class of the year with brand new students.
ok, so the students are a little rude.
wouldnt it be best to be friendly with them to earn their respect before you actually scold them of being disrespectful?
i can understand in adulthood everyone respects each other.
if thats the case i'd rather be a kid.
haizz...

oh yah.

staring can offend people.
if someone stares at me i'd be a little irritated but i'd ignore the starer.
well, being in wushu automatically puts me in the handsome category.
so im not surprised if ppl stare. (ahaha.)
but this morning i boarded the train with my buddy.
and it so happened that some kid in the early teens boarded with us.
all the way from my station to Queenstown he kept staring at us.
thank goodness he alighted earlier than us.
jealousy is a strong thing.
thats not all.
going home from school, the train was still half an hour away from home when some cute girl boarded the train.
probably shes just bored or smtg but i noticed her staring at my direction.
yet her stare is as irritating as the previous kid.
so i tried shifting myself to another side of the train.
looking at the reflection of the glass, it has been confirmed.
she was staring at me.
another bugger.
i dont hit chicks.
even if theyre cute.
but a cute chick staring at u isnt so bad- i meant it is very bad.
hahas.
ouch.
dont try doing splits on your bed.
it'll hurt.

my senior is back from new zealand!
yay!
let the extortion continue!
ahaha.
he/she left for nz 3weeks.
it was a little lonely.
but he/shes back!
cool huh, holidays in nz?
some ppl dont even get to ride on planes their whole lives.
thats a little sad.
but there always comes a time when oppotunities appear.
its just up to the person to grab it.

lalalalalalala

my wushu peeps are all handsome and beautiful ppl.
lay a finger on them and i'll brg the whole world to kill.
hello world.

19042009

2009-04-19T04:49:00.000-07:00

"Do you know the meaning behind Nunnally's smile?

Why don't you get it?

Nunnally could neither see nor walk.

Thus she knew there were things in the world she couldn't do on her own.

Nunnally's smile was her only way of showing gratitude."

Lelouch Vi Britannia
Code Geass

Man i find these words super sad.
Lelouch was crying when he said this.
He and his little sister, Nunnally, was abandoned by his parents(king/queen).
Nunnally became blind and crippled in the process.
This was said when he's finishing his dying father(king).

at the end of the day, its is all anime.
and as free as i am right now im so panicking abt sch 2moro.
sch is starting. this is no joke.
everyone is like "code red, code red"
when theyre supposed to say "code geass, code geass"
it is no laughing matter.
especially when you are forced to sleep late due to a soccer game that lasts over midnight.
buggers.
sch starts at 8am and ends at 6 pm.
aft sch wud be my cca, from 6.30 to 10.
most likely i'd reach home at midnight.
and then i have to force myself to sleep the moment i reach home.
because on tuesday, class starts early as well.
ah the heck. every class starts at 8 or 9.
no life.
no romance.
no attitude.
no bullshitting.
yes.
they dont call me fadhil for nothing.
well.
its my name.
thats why they call me fadhil.
whatever that makes me happy.
ciao.

08042009

2009-04-08T05:32:00.000-07:00

haizz...

every day is a new day.

yet every day is a new age.

for instance, today is my 17th year, 8th month and 23rd day alive.

tomorrow, i will live 17 years, 8 months and 24 days.

i dont feel like a 17 years, 8 months, and 23 days old kid.

instead, i feel like im 14 years, 11 months, 29 days.

one day before my 15th birthday.

expecting something so much.

yet, it is still one day before my 15th birthday.

it hasnt reached my birthday.

just one day before.

nothing ever happens one day before my birthday.

just like every year.

and every day.

by counting months, i have done quite an amt of math.

last pointer.

what is my birthday?

31032009

2009-03-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

ok so i think soup operas are a waste of time.
did i even spell "soap" properly!?

ok. what if i were to pick a card to describe me out of a 52 poker card deck.
i would pick the jack of clubs. why? i dunno. cos he's some sort of a prince?
me the prince. doesnt sound too bad.
then i shall pick you as me, the prince's wife. WOO!
then you shall be a princess.
ahaha.
why am the jack of clubs? no idea.
i believe im smtg more than numbers.
and it is said that the shapes go in order like this.

weakest strongest
diamonds - clubs - hearts - spades

clubs are like the third strongest.
or the second weakest.
depending on how you look at it.
so i believe clubs are very underestimated.
okok fine i have not much of a hidden talent in me.

how wud i describe this?
im a prince of a humble country that posess potential growth.

come my princess, let us make our leave.

26032009

2009-03-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

people come in all shapes and sizes.
sounds familiar?

i had a great day 2dae. yay.
not being sarcastic here but i really enjoyed today.
its basically a normal outing with my classmates.
i'd rather go out and have some fun than stay at home like a sick person.
how does it feel when u are in a murderous game and you are the murderer?
it feels awe-some.
for some reason when i played smtg like this with children, i lose.
just now i played the game with my friends. i reigned victorious.
and it feels so good to get away with it.

hahas. its just a game anyway.

it seems that many things have been kept in store for me rite now.
god must have planned exciting days for me.
whether exciting or not, when god lets me live a little longer then.
thank god. (alhamdulillah)

i havent heard from my old classmates for a while.
and im pretty excited to meet them.
im sure ive changed. better or worse.
i guess they wudnt be shocked by my long hair.
considering emo was part of my character 2 years back.
im a little worried abt one couple.
well, i do have no reason to get involved they are a little beyond me.
nothing changes then. hahas.

yay, i cant wait for training.
exercise is important. ciao.

25032009

2009-03-25T05:19:00.000-07:00

i guess all im good at is lazing around. heh.
its not like im a hard worker, nor a natural genius.
u can just call me a kid whose path have slightly dented.
ok maybe not slightly.
probably its a bad habit picked up after all these long 17 years.
i didnt grow up a saint, nor did i became a devil.
im just lazy. thats all.

OK.
having to do stupid things can realli get back to you pretty bad.
like to say i ran away after seeing a dead body rather than reporting to the police. ceh.
besides, decisions cant possibly be made on the spot when you are given fatal choices. for one thing, it could affect your own life or the life of others. it could save the world, it could destroy it.
we're only human for god's sake.
there are some things that clearly show the correct path but people such as myself are too lazy to take it. my excuse? "its too troublesome." do i sound like shikamaru?
but in life people take on these duties just so they can move on.
the famous "adult" life i suppose.
frankly, i'd prefer to stay a kid. preferbly at the age of 16.
no, it has nothing to do with "sweet sixteen", but it seems i like being in my last secondary school years. but technically, if i stay sixteen all my life it wouldn't be called "my last secondary school years" and it wouldn't be meaningful.

the word "last" can change the entire meaning of a sentence.
for example:-
"This is my year in secondary school," says Fidel.
this sentence can mean that Fidel believes that he would do well in that particular year in secondary school.
whereas:-
"This is my last year in secondary school," says Alex.
if you look at it, the sentence is just plain. if you give it a meaning, you can see a hint of sadness and inspiration. whether the person is trying to hide it or not.

so, i guess i havent felt the urgency to take my life seriously. to seriously have fun, or to seriously do all out on work. so, i'll stay a failure if i dont do anything abt it.

SPECIAL MARCH SURPRISE - Dekat Padamu lyrics

2009-03-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

Dekat Padamu (Closer To You) lyrics
Yusry

Dekat padamu… arah ingin ku tuju
Walaupun jauh akan ku tempuh
Kerana hanya sunyi yang menemani hari
Semenjak kau pergi membawa diri

Oh dekat padamu… Di sana kan bersatu
Dua jiwa yang telah terpisah
Kesetiaan yang telah kita sama ikrarkan
Ku pegang teguh… janji ku kotakan

Andai tersalah arah… berikan ku tanda
Agar kau terima yang sebaiknya
Jika cinta kita hanya sejarah lama
Sudilah ku cuba kali kedua

Walau jauh akan ku gegas berlari
Walau tinggi bisa ku terbang di langit
Walau sedalam mana akan ku selami
Kerana cinta sedalam itu mekar
bila ku dekat padamu

Dekat padamu… itu destinasiku
Tak kira apa jua kan ku terima
Harapanku kan terbuka pintu di hatimu
Dengan rela menunggu kehadiranku

Andai tersalah arah… Berikan ku tanda
Agar kau terima yang sebaiknya
Harapan mendorong ku mengusung cinta kita
Janganlah dibalas rasa kecewa

English Translation

closer to you, that is where im going
even though its far, i will bear with it
because there's only silence everyday
since you brought yourself away

oh closer to you, its where we reunite
two lives that had been separated
the sincerity that we had pledged to each other
i will hold tight, the promise that we made

if i get lost, show me the signs
so that you will receive the best
if our love is history
give us a chance to try a second time

no matter how far it is, i will run to it
no matter how high it is, i will fly to the sky
no matter how deep wherever it is, i will dive to it
because a love that deep will blossom
when i am closer to you

closer to you, that is my destination
no matter what i will face
my hope has opened the door to your heart
that is willing to wait for my presence

if i get lost, show me the signs
so that you will receive the best
my hope will teach me how to shoulder our love
don't be caught by the feeling of sadness

ok, this is a catchy song which i hear pretty often.
im sure those who noe my grades for my second language
will be shocked to hear this. den den den...
the english translation was done by me! yay me!
and even im surprised im able to comprehend this language.
ok fine. i had a teensy bit pf help from me mommy.
love you mommy!

ok and thats that. hear the song on youtube.
its pretty entertaining.

12032009

2009-03-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

when you are too busy, you'd wish you're in a holiday.
when you are too free, you'd wish you're in school.
mysterious species humans are.

lets observe what an average Singaporean teenager would be doing right now.
The Fadhil. says:
heloo
what r u doing?
--baLL0on-- says:
hello!
half asleep!!!
lols!!!
The Fadhil. says:
got such thing?
then half awake doing wad?
--baLL0on-- says:
jiu very tired lor
haha!
listening to songs
The Fadhil. says:
so you listened to songs untill u're tired?
--baLL0on-- says:
no la
just come back today frm a chalet
so very tired
The Fadhil. says:
oic

nice.

yes. this is an example of people taking advantage of their friends when they feel bored.
besides, all we hav left to do all day is
- eat,
- use the computer,
- watch television,
- go out,
- or sleep.

a very average Singaporean teenage life. here are 10 ways to make your teenage life more interesting.
1 - you can shave yourself bald and start spamming ur friends about your bald head.
2 - use a broken watch to tell the time.
3 - buy an air ticket to Palestine.
4 - hijack an American NASA rocket and make your way to Pluto.
5 - swim to Malaysia.
6 - tie a rope to the twentieth story of your block and go bungee-jumping.
7 - wear a Cristiano Ronaldo jersey and enter a bar of only Liverpool fans.
8 - paint your car into Bumblebee.
9 - call a radio station and sing The Final Coundown on air.
10 - go to a police station and play house with the staff.

life isnt all exciting. thats what make it interesting.

anime games edition

2009-03-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

now is the time i express all my feelings...
... about anime and games ...

1) Lelouch Vi Britannia is my ultimate hero.
2) Bonds between family members are the most beautiful thing.
3) Being unkind doesn't neccessarily mean being the bad guy.
4) Never be as lazy as any anime character.
5) Some indirect messages in anime also occur in real life.
6) I never cry when the hero's girlfriend dies.
7) I cry when a filial son dies before his loving father.
8) I lack experience in life.
9) Izumi Konata is my favourite girl.
10) My overall best anime/game character : Zack Fair

27022009

2009-02-27T09:39:00.000-08:00

if loving someone gives you courage, then tell me.
do i really love that person?
a friend asked me before.
"do you realli like her?"
such a simple question.
and oh how it makes me doubt how i feel.
haiz...

ooo i wanna eat ice cream.
but ive been eating ice cream for the past few days.
sugar alert.
okok, i'll reduce the ice cream.
in exchange, why dont i listen to emo songs?
ok, most likely the presence of sugar in my body
are the ones who keep me from being an emo-ist.
so now im really lacking sugar.
fine, i lied.
i just drank the pokka blueberry tea and apple tea.
sugar alert.
i have all the time in the world to blog
yet i only blog in nights when i feel like it.
i dont even blog about social issues such as cat murderers
(hate those people) or Edison Chen (a random celeb i thot of)
i oni blog about stuff that comes about randomly.
im a random guy. random guys like random girls.
does that math really add up?
then again. likes repel, unlikes attract.
shes too similar too me.
there i go emo again.

i want ice cream!
i guess trying to cheer myself up
is simply another form of lying to myself.
omg. hinata died. after confessing to naruto.
can i kill nagato? he killed my favourite girl in the story.
i guess stuffs in anime are also complicated.
like toradora for instance.
typical.

when i see you i run away.
when i don't see you i'll miss you.

i guess im just a coward huh?

24022009

2009-02-24T10:13:00.000-08:00

aaaaaaaah
i also wanna go japan.
my friend said she was going to Japan soon, i cant say when.
and as expected, im running around in circles.
if i miraculously find myself in Japan, i will cry.
not tears of joy. "MAMA!!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!"

ok.

i am worried i didnt do well in school.
particularly because i get distracted too easily.
while studying, when i see an interesting person online
i'd disturb him/her.
i cant help it. its fun.
not a good thing tho.
the person may be busy or im the one supposed to be busy.

and my cat finally got a shower.
yay.
now its fur is as soft as a cat's fur.
i wanna disturb him. but im afraid he will attack me.
that is what they call
"revenge of the Fido"
or
"Fido strikes back"

woohoo.
training.
im thinking of setting up a training regime for myself.
20 sit ups.
20 sets of punches.
20 pushups
1 minute of mabu (suspending my butt 50 centimetres in the mid air
20 )front kicks
20 inner cresent kicks
20 outer cresent kicks
front, left and right splits
3 sets of my san duan routine
10 sets of my san duan dao routine

like hell im gonna do all that.
zzzz.
woo
manu's game is in an hour.
and my friend is finding a new phone for himself.
and he just decided to buy the motorola razr 2 v9
hahas.

some people got exams. luckily mine oreadi ended.
and im enjoying my free time at home.
home is where there are people who love you.
if you're alone, no one other than yourself can change that.

19022009

2009-02-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

how terrifying, he mistook a you for a toy pig.

omg i just downloaded da best games ever. rite now in my psp i have seven of da best ps1 rpg games existed. and theres more coming.

oh yea. exam tomorrow. yay. last paper. WOOHOO!!! the moment the clock strikes at 8pm.
all hell breaks loose. i hear one of my fren is planning to take off his/her jacket and pants after the paper. is he/she insane or wad? (onlie until i heard it was a song from blink 182)

yay. the oncoming holidays. wat to do? easy.

CRASH PPL'S CRIBS.
woo.

and we're planning to spend a night or 2 playing an rpg game to complete it as close to 12 hours.

that is what games are made for.
leisure.

there are times when people are stressed out. so people play games.
there are also times when people are bored. and so they play games.
lastly, there are people like myself who are not supposed to play games.
well, i dun play. i blog instead.

GAMES GAMES GAMES.
at least its better than people crying out their miserable little lives.
dont get me wrong. i do complain sometimes. ok, fine, i complain alot.
that makes me a singaporean. but i havta study. whether i like it (wishful thinking) or not.

yay. i broke a screw. wait. i broke many screws. yea. so did my fren. shes obviously smarter than me. but i think we broke than same amount of screws. so shes still smarter than me.

OK. resume studying. y am i blogging in the first place?
oh yah. Princess Garnet Til Alexandros is damn cute.
so are Girls Generation.
never thought i'd say that, tho.

end of story.

Lifehouse - Everything

2009-02-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lifehouse
Everything lyrics

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
When you take my breath away
Would you take me in take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better any better than this
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

08022009

2009-02-08T04:47:00.000-08:00

Fadhil. says:
WOO I AM HOT
Fadhil. says:
or rather just being full of myself
Fadhil. says:
hahas
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
hahhas
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
okaaae
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
ill take it tat ure a positive thinker
Fadhil. says:
hahas
Fadhil. says:
if im being positive
Fadhil. says:
imagine
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
hmmph?
Fadhil. says:
i just got knocked down by a car
Fadhil. says:
my skull has cracked
Fadhil. says:
my head is all red
Fadhil. says:
and i say
Fadhil. says:
"wow red rain, im impressed"
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
two words
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
ure mad
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
fadhil
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
stp making my imaginations run wild
Fadhil. says:
hahahaha
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
im kinda pretty good with imagining things you noe
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
so
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
its scary
Fadhil. says:
ok
Fadhil. says:
i'll think of smtg not so violent
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
okaae
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
tell miie tell miee
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:

Fadhil. says:
positive thinking
Fadhil. says:
when u are late for class
Fadhil. says:
believe that
Fadhil. says:
biar lambat asal selamat
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
HAHAHAH
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
ure crazy
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
my sch
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
if late
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
u go fr detention till 6!
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
n
Fadhil. says:
wooo!
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
by the time i reach hm will be like 9 or plus plus??
Fadhil. says:
hahas
Fadhil. says:
want me to pick u up???
Fadhil. says:
(eyebrows goes up and down)
Fadhil. says:
hahahahhahahhaha
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
HAHAHAHA
Fadhil. says:
ok im crazy
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
dude ure crazy
Fadhil. says:
like u said
''superman - The Kill. Damn these memories says:
yea

just the funny ppl we mit in life. jiayou!^_^

05022009

2009-02-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

i havent forgotten how it felt that way.

oh, how sweet and joyous those times when we met.

the first time i laid my eyes on you.

i knew, i had fallen in love with you.

stand by me, stay with me, never let this feeling end.

for if i ever let go of your blessing.

to lose my beloved ice cream, no, i dont think i can.

hahas.
funny how romance can be out into ur sweet tongue.
romance is pretty nice too.
aaargh i want some romance!
geez, i feel like im in a love-comedy anime that goes nowhere.
ok, im just hallucinating.

omg exams are coming.
yet i still have time to blog.
i think i have time to study.
unless if im pretty bored.

Hayate : "i will protect you, milady."
Gintoki : "in life, we're not the readers. we're the authors."
Kenshin : "i cant undo my past, but i can try to make a better future."
Naruto : "i got tired of crying just because im alone."
ichigo : "u wont know how worried the others are if ure alone."

my frens all wanna play mahh jongg.
woo! and i wanna date this girl! haizzz.
cant seem to say it to her. emo. omg. if ure reading. "I LOVE YOU!!!"
ahem. pancakes. ahh. make me some. ^_^

valentines* valentines* music* bells*

well i dont believe in valentines anyway.
is this the day when cupid works overtime?
i wonder how much he gets for OT.
ooo, money making day valentines is!
i shall also start my romance on valentine's day... with money- muneh- dinerro.

haizz. i dont hink she would ever look at my way.
oh well.

26012009

2009-01-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

whats shit messing with crap? cows.

i dont noe a bloody thing and have absolutely no interest in finding out.

after all im just a bloody passerby whos at his limits of endurance.

words ive sealed for years are starting to come back.

actions ive nvr done r tempted to break out.

i wanna break. hit stuff. maybe tear myself apart.

whats the use? ive been turned to sand oreadi.

a final blow straight to where it hurts most effortlessly.

i cant feel a thing. why the hell are my hands numb?

whats with this bull?

down the drain with shits all over your head.

drowned in anger. drenched in hatred. death with misery. rebirth with vengeance.

21012009

2009-01-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

hopes of me reflected in her eyes have fallen.

do i do stuff that do not give any msg?

even if i tie a silver string on it she still wont notice.

yea, well even if it doesnt come in gold, gold is nothing next to it.

after all, it cant be seen, heard, scented, tasted or touched.

if i feel how i feel, how do i know that its real?

when will this be over?
am i eternally hallucinating?

illutions are a bliss. should i awaken will i disappear.

for souls do not return once theyre gone.

drifting away in the bottomless ocean.

14012009

2009-01-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

hey there! its seems i found more wasted time to blog instead of study.

chewing gum to me is is smoking to black monkey i know. yes. hes black inside and outside (laughs) addictions are easy to pick up, but hard to leave off. rite now im chewing gum. dont ask me where i got, some pretty girl decided to do me a favour. dont ask me for some either cos the one im chewing is my last one.

whenever i hear the song "i believe i can fly" being played anywhere i cant help but to let my imagination go wild. he seems to believe he can fly if he believes. so i imagine him jumping off a cliff. he dies falling. yay.

i sorta like cooking. ok my cooking's not as great as my sister's but hey, i cook whenever no ones ard. its cool really how i make simple dishes out of what i can find in the kitchen. (and it does NOT include chewing gum)
most of the time i whip up smtg when i feel sad. then eating the food i wud drown in an emotional state. -_-''' but whenever i cook smtg when im happy, i get hyper, and i thus err- get hyper?

i hate doing reports. yet i still have 2 of em due this week. i was supposed to hand in all 3 last wk. ahh the heck. i havent handed in 2 assignments either.

can anyone tell me wat to do when my lips feel like theyre gonna bleed? ahh i bit my tongue. smone must be talking bad abt me, hehehe. well, im sleeping and its 2.30 in the morning acording to my clock. i hope everything 2moro makes sense.

lies are excuses to hide the truth.

13012009

2009-01-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

ok. being sad makes us human. im feeling sad right now cos some friend of mine is depressed for whatsoever reason. still the fact that shes sad make me sad too. its pretty hard to tell in person that that person is sad. yet when we dont meet its easier to express how we feel. tho im dunno whether im being honest or not.

o level results are out! it has nothing to do with me tho.

the thing abt ppl is that when they do smtg, all they want are results. most ppl dislike studying so hard, yet they do so to achieve high scores in exams. most ppl dislike working so hard either, yet they do so to be promoted to receive enough pay to support their families.

speaking of which im one of the few who wants to achieve smtg, but barely does anything to our goals. i wanna do smtg. i hav do idea what is holding me back.

chicks rule the underworld. i rule the rest. sayo.

11012009

2009-01-11T08:39:00.000-08:00

im watching manu.

yep, watching manu.

wow, manu is so cute- wait, thats my cat.

now i see strawberries.

ok, nothing realli is coming up.

my friend said he/she is not supposed to be blogging. yet blogging temps him/her even more. Note : that i dont even know who this friend is. yea im somewhat the same. now im wondering when can manu ever get their rythm rite. ok, that was just another gay random crap. i guess teens in spore usually have the same problems. yea.

another issue is about sleeping late despite having school them next day. yea. just like what im doing rite now. what the chinese say : Sianzzz

chelsea u shud give up and die.

ok thats the last random thing i'll say.

good nite.

01012009

2009-01-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

although alot of things had happened, i havent been in the mood to tell them.

theyre boring, anyway.

oh yea.

i play cards with my cat.

i lost at taitee, blackjack, poker and twenty-four.

yay.

maybe i should take my cat to a casino and win big bucks with it.

too bad my cat is under-12.

figures.

03122008

2008-12-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

birthdays are one of the most unimportant things celebrated in the social world. why? bcos they are. u can carry out a banquet just to celebrate ur birthday inviting 200 ppl in which u only noe one eighth of them. what a waste of money. yet why do people still celebrate this "joyous occasion"?

people are born with a will of their own. they feel, believe and evolve. we grow bitter or sweet. companionship is one of the solutions to this human characteristic. alone, people feel lonely, i feel lonely, u feel lonely, but isnt our family and friends out there ready to get to ur needs? as lonely as one gets, he or she will try to think of smtg nice. 'birthday? yea. i was born on this date. or rather i think i was. ah heck, whether i was born on this date or not i dont care. i have a birthday.' it is unimportant in the social world, yes, but is one of the most important thing that gives us motivation.

i never thought my birthday was important too. i only thought as long as the birthday person was happy then everything here is fine. i never thought birthdays would affect my state of mind. even when my crush's birthday passed, all i cud was 'happy belated, woman.' then i wud give my usual business smile and end the story wif her only saying 'thank you!' i guess im pretty dishonest to myself. wait, if im dishonest to myself how can i even tell? 'oh deary me', my classmate always say. if i say that i always think im being self-centered. i dont actually noe how to describe myself. i always thought i was self-conscious, arrogant, attention-seeking, helpless noob. but wen i think about my good side, i can only describe myself as a brother.

y i brought the birthday topic up is bcos today is a special friend's birthday. i didnt actually realise i haven enjoyed myself like this for so long. im surprised how celebrating his birthday can make me think so much. its not abt celebrating the birthday is important. its who u celebrate it with.

im currently in the process of changing. i think its for the better, rather than sticking to the easily moody person i think i am. i'll do my best for my family and friends. i wont disappoint u readers either^_^

23112008

2008-11-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

oh man. i hate waking up early. well, i hate sleeping early either. ah heck, sleeping is my worst enemy and my best friend. waking up early for classes stink, even if ive done it all my life in the 10 years of primary and secondary education. well, maybe some people get it worse than me, im just complaining being the typical human i am.

some people ask y am i always online after hours. well, i watch anime, read manga, play games and do my work. yeah, its a boring life, but its the best ive got. food, oh glorious food, is another part of life a human shud not resist from. i said 'SHUD not', not 'MUST not', for the people watching their diet, because the fact is, food holds more than one third of your life. it doesnt only give you a full stomach, its satisfies your pleasures(not that kind of pleasures), gives you variety, helps during socialising, and maybe completes your character as well.

games are the same. people who dont play at all have no lives. well, games dont only refer to final fantasy or such. your jobs can be a game too, regardless whether they love or hate it. life is not a game, i'll tell you. if you treat your life like a game, ur gonna slip up at one point and its gonna cost you bad. i like games, by the way, but theres a game i really hate playing despite playing it everyday. its the game of life. cos like nearly every boy, we always have our object of affection. yes. the girl i like is like a 'boss' in rpg games and the stage where i reach the point where i want to confess is like when i reach 'bizzaro sephiroth' in final fantasy 7. sometimes i dont even attempt to go for it. haizzz.

my freaking handphone keeps going off by itself. its irritating, really. in the middle of messaging it can just go off, and i can just shout freakish words imaginable (i dont swear, trust me) pisses me off alot. well, no matter what i say i still love my handphone. it has gone thru alot the past three years oreadi. my friends say that its time for me to get a new phone, but its hard for me to abandon this one. it got stolen once, commited suicide many times, made me stangle my friend once, restored peace numerous times, received messages from the girl i like many many times etc. saved my life once too.

so things that are closest to us, we dont feel like they are with us, but when we need them they are usually ready to help us. regardless of friends, handphones, family and all. those arent games. they are life. life is not a game. the difference between life and games is that in games you may know how the story goes. life does not always go how it is predicted. it is how you want it to be.

21112008

2008-11-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

"How long before we see each other again?"
What made me think that you were saying it with a nice face?
I pretend that there's nothing bothering me
I'll listen 'till morning as you make more excuses
Because I want us to be connected

I don't even want to see your face along the Nile anymore
No development will come from this, as my cell phone dances
If it's goodbye mail, I want to forget about it
"Hold me tight" but "I want to disappear to somewhere"

Any time that you're talking too much you don't seem to notice
I let you see that "I cry" a little while pretending to be strong
How well did those tears work on you?

Even though "I want to be loved" in my own way, it fills me, but I can't see you
I just have the feeling that I'll never see you again...
I want to tell you that, but I can't find the right words
Maybe it's okay if I lie, but I can't even say "Don't go away"
The strange voice she has when she sneezes
The screwed up face she has when she laughs
Her habit of acting crazy when she's bored.

When our hands come apart
Will you forget someday?
About me?

Maybe I’d rather hear you lie.

18112008

2008-11-18T06:19:00.000-08:00

slow down the pace i always say. ok. maybe i dont always say. or maybe i do say pretty often when running the 2.4km run. excellent. the world is spinning soo round. yet times have gradually moved faster than we could possibly realise it. its the truth, and no joke. moments that hold the happiest times of our lives are quickly dissappearing. memories of the true definition of 'fun' i believe do not exist between minds of children these days. can you imagine the past and how much more fun kids have on those days. its disappearing.

well the reason i wrote this is that i realised my youth, my memories of 'fun' was nothing more than a game of congkak in the kampung times. they had so much more enjoyable lives that make me look like an old man. maybe i am getting old.

lemme tell u a little story.
(nothing to do with the past but has smtg to do with youth)

casey had always admired jamie because she was very outgoing and confident. all the time he watched her playing with her friends while he sat in the corner with his own. he tries to be confident, but always fail to maintain confidence like jamie always did. after a few days he became friends with jamie and later they were well acquainted with each other.

after a while, he suddenly felt nervous when talking to her. he tried to think of every possible reason. was it because his low self-esteem finally caught up with him? or was it due to stress due to work given to him despite having to train in his sport in a tight schedule? no. it couldnt be. he had done all his activities relaxingly until now. then why done his heart ache so much when she wasnt around him? her voice alone would raise his spirit to the extend he wouldnt mind studying or training five days straight.

was it love...?

10 things about mua

2008-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

im tagged by waannii (wani) so i got no choice but to do this thing, power.

RULES AND REGULATIONS

- each player posts 10 weird things/habits abt himself/herself in his/her blog
- after that, write 10 names of ppl of who u wanna tag
- people whose names have been wirtten in the post must do the same thing
- no back tagging

whew.

1. i used to love longans soo much i went to my auntie's hse just to eat them
2. in school, when teachers are teaching, i always imagine im watching a cartoon cos probably the teachers look like cartoons themselves
3. my first word was 'stupid'
4. when chinese ppl speak to me in chinese, all i can do is smile
5. i got a thing for cats
6. the fridge is always attacked by me at night
7. i still want to be a samurai
8. when i play sports, i tend to forget abt my homework
9. i like to label my friends and i let them label me
10. my face is like an anime

people people, im gonna tag u.

1. arif rawi
2. aishah
3. zul
4. hizami
5. aqilah
6. sheilah
7. atthira
8. fairuz
9. afiq
10. faiza

25102008

2008-10-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

woohoo. life is so great. endless problems and obstacles. excellent.

omg its been a while since ive hung out with my old classmates. they are like, the craziest people (becos ive been meeting other crazy ppl, so my old buddies are still top notch)! yea, it was awesome. first we started by gaying around. then we talk. abt wat? girls lar!!! hahas just kidding. those buggers are just like me. when it comes to girls, CODE RED, CHANGE SUBJECT!!!! hahas, yea right. anyway, there was like a WHOLE LOT OF FOOD. it wud definitely be my heaven... ...if i were to be hungry. then then, we spent most of the time cooking. so i was enjoying the sight and smell if the wth bbq-ed chick chop and the chilli wings wth. yah. cos they were cooking randomly so we alternately changed shifts. tiring lar, but staying in the chef's seat is pretty fun. seriously, you get to control what your friends eat, hahahahahas... then the day came to night and the picture-taking session began. and so, we casually made our million-dollar extravagant faces look like formal idiots in one dollar pictures. how great is that??? plus, the gay pictures piled up. it was idiotically brilliant. then we came to the point where everyone is tired taking pictures, so we all sat down for a normal unusual japanese tutorial section. yes, our friend who speaks japanese taught us a few words. the weird thing is, i recalled that 70% of the words he was asked to teach were words that wud realli get to the user (aka stuff like @#$%) yea. the buggers asked for words that were beyond my ears. seriously. well i am part of the gang :p so i did ask for words like "shi-ne" hahas. hilarious, they were. so i brought home a lot of chicks. yea. spicy red-hot chicks. omg, they were nice. the feel of it when you come in contact with their skin. chicken wings...

yea, sarcasm is an awesome art. but there are limitations to sarcasm, well, thats obvious. i may have crossed the line of sarcasm before so i shall apologize if i had offended any of you readers before. anyway, lets get sarcastic! its after all, one of the greatest things in life. part of my life would have disappeared without it. there you go. it has come to the point where i have no ideas of what to rite. yep, i absolutely have some idea, or rather no idea of how you readers feel. boring, it definitely is.. not.

muahahahaha. now that i have brainwashed your mind, lets get to the extra part of the post now! ^_^
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Harry went out to dinner with his friends Larry, Barry, and Gary. Harry sat across from Gary. At Gary's right, opposite Barry, sat Larry. When the waiter came for their orders, Larry and Barry ordered steak. Gary chose fish, and Harry (who likes to be difficult) ordered like this: "Unless the man at the left of the man opposite the man who ordered fish is not having what the man across from the man at the right of the man at my left is having, then I'll have what the man across from the man at the right of the man opposite me ordered. Otherwise, bring me the fettucine alfredo." Assuming "right" and "left" is from the viewpoint of the diners, what did Harry order?

You can find the answer from the previous post.

21102008

2008-10-21T04:56:00.001-07:00

im realli pissed 2dae. dunno whether its cos of my pride or ego. well, i like to think, and due to that i think alot, or maybe i think too much.

just now in class, the was a practical lesson and we were to examine the experiment carried out by the lab person. so we were all casually watching and writing down notes. so at one point i noticed that a certain condition that is required for a more accurate reading. of course after a second of thinking i knew why it had to be that way. but while thinking i actually said the reason out loud subconsciously. then my friend commented "yah dont talk too much, i dont really care." well, it may sound insignificant, but i deeply feel i disturbed by him and a sudden surge of anger grew into me. after that i look at him i was thinking "it was my bloody explanation and you, a piece of crap, have no brainpower to accept facts." so i ignored him for the rest of the day, putting on a crappy face.

that dude is my friend, but he pisses me off alot. sometimes i say hes ok, then later i want him out of my face. i dunno, he says words that hurt my pride pretty easily. which is y im asking, isit my pride or my ego? and so im now reflecting as i always do. i wanna feel that all this is chidish, but i realli feel hate towards him now. i dunno. when i think of his face i feel like i dont recognise him anymore, y the heck am i feeling like this only god knows...

btw, for every thing that happens in life, regardless whether good or bad, theres always an effect. its smtg like karma, but malays call it 'hikmah'. im not sure what hikmah is going to appear but im gonna remain patient. well, this probably happened cos i did smtg bad, and this was the way of passing judgement to me. i dunno, there are possibilities.

it seems im also into this kind of destiny stuffs. destiny, yes, refers to the written future, but the future we want can only be written down if we write it. say you are trapped in a house of burning fire, and you are alone. it may sound like your fate is sealed, but what if you run through the debris, burn yourself a little, but manage to get away alive. there. you just wrote your own destiny. when it comes to love (wooo hot topic) u may never know until u actually ask your topic of love of their feelings. well, actually, who am i to talk. i lost my heart to this girl, aww man shes
so crazy and cute (kakaks shuttup) and im so afraid to tell her my feelings. well, all i can say is i will try someday, and if it doesnt work out, then thats destiny, or maybe i work my way into her heart. heee ^_^

answer :
What he essentially said to the waiter was: "If Larry ordered the same thing as Gary, I'll have steak." Since Larry ordered steak and Gary ordered fish, Harry does not get steak.

20102008

2008-10-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

yea! wushu training is back! awesome. i was begining to feel stiff watching anime at home. but then again i wasnt able to write many posts cos i was pretty busy these days. i stil got to edit a report and practice math. how great is that. well the practising math part isnt really compulsory, but i cant possibly leave out math to other modules. being good in math does not mean u are naturally talented or smtg. its abt consistency. (well, a prodigy is a different case) if i consistently practise math then theres a better chance i will do well. rather than doing it once a week and forgetting all the formulas thought.

ok, i just got a new mouse recently. seems it sped up my work two fold. really cool. and its cheap! (for a mouse) u noe abt the shops in our neighbourhood areas, normally (this is my opinion) the prices of merchandise are overpriced. yes i understand that our economy is in a crisis, but i only wanna compare it to the old times, when a coke costed 10 cents, maybe cheaper. how the value can rose to a dollar? our historical economy says it all. well, idont have a clue so dont ask me.

smtg has been bugging me. im losing money. and fast. well this is a common problem to us teenagers and our fellow twenteens (age 20+) cos we all wanna go out with our friends like to play pool or karaoke, movies or shopping, its all the same. but there are people as young as 14 who already start working to support their families. whether to pity them or help them is up to ur opinion, but those kind of people who work hard enough to succeed, i salute them. sure, life is tough. but what u do is the one which actually defines u. (sound familiar? batman : it is not what i am but what i do is the one that defines me.) in the end, u will be rewarded, god willing. if not then u just hav to reflect on y u r not rewarded, and work earnestly to succeed. my case : i just gotta diet and save up ^_^

hahas so, another special item i shall add for tonite. may sound sentimental, and maybe unlike me, nut i found it pretty sweet. Enjoy ^_^.

LOVE

I am so in love
In love with Joy
In love with happiness
In love with anger
In love with frustration
In love with Tears
In love with Me.

I love love
love is fruitful
Love is Kind
Love is Motivating
Love is Comforting
Love is love

I hate Love
Love is painful
Love is heartbreaking
Love is deadly
Love is poisonous
Love is Evil

Hey stop it
Love is like what
I don't know
All I know is Love is Love
so say all you want
But I know Love is
and I love love
I love me & you

Sheikh Hina Yasmeen

14102008

2008-10-14T04:09:00.000-07:00

remember, u shud nvr underestimate the power of sleeping. really. just when i thought waking up at 7 was too early for a 12 o'clock class, before i knew it, the clock had reached 11.30. so i was like thinking "wth wth omg omg" and so i ended up coming to class 1 hr late. completely unprecedented. so sleeping may be awesome, but one has to organise his sleep to keep track of time and maintain efficiency in the livelihood.(what crap am i spilling?!)

anyway, the begining of the 2nd semester began yesterday. yay. and our lives will become as complicated as ever whether it comes to studies, games, or relationships (relationships dont only refer to couples but friends ad families too). the complication begins. i hear from my friends that i look like i gained a little more weight. and now i am thinking, i wanna run but i dont wanna run. those who noe me probably understand what i mean. ok, to make this clear. i completely hate running. well for one reason is that i can barely sprint 200m. and i cant jog longer than 1.2 km. wah can cry. YET i wanna run cos of the comment "dude, u r gaining weight. u r gaining weight. gaining weight. gaining weight. weight. (echo)" now isit clear???

oh yea. my cca! wushu. awesome i can do splits. i can do the 1st part of 'san tuan nan quan' realli awesome. but i notice that my in this routine i can add more strength into it. so i asked my friend (the expert) if im realli doing the routine correctly. know what he said? "wah starting oreadi wrong" so i was like aaaaaahh. but in the end he still taught me how to do it properly. hes cool man!

so just now i was listening to songs and thinking about social issues (a-hem) then i on-ed a song which i hear everyday. "ayat-ayat cinta" by rossa. u know that i lurve this song like siao, but 2dae when i heard it, it was like wah suddenly the song gave me this feeling. like the song is so beautiful its scary. but really, u listen to the song's instrumental part and the beautiful voice fuse in a rare sensation. absolutely a 10 star brilliance.

12102008

2008-10-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

im kinda in a twist right now. to not know how to feel? i bet u all know that feeling. if i ask u probably u will answer that this is a part of life which it will eventually go thru. but isit really neccessary? of all the issues gg on at home i nvr really thot this wud be such a big fuss amongst my familly... the truth is... my cat is getting fat... T-T

well, i haven really been socialling much despite the raya until i met up with my friends! it was a great raya amongst ourselves. well, i felt it was incomplete bcos i cudnt see the person i really wanted to see. aww man :D yea. bcos it felt like smtg was missing too... and right now u readers are thinking "this is another thing u have to go thru in life, u oaf?!" hahas. but its funny how part of me rejects this and another part of me is able to embrace it. well, the third part of me says, "what happens, happens." and he goes lepak the whole day. AND SO, i follow my third self... lepak is good. heeee.

well this time im writing right before the golden sun ascends to the depths of the beautiful azure sky. basically... dawn. i wonder if im able to see the person todae. well, that is up to god's will. besides, nothing will come if i just sit and sulk one corner in my room yea? i gotta take action, or at least move if i want something to happen to the world outside my home. i gotta go with the flow until the moment's right then probably things will turn out interesting.

i wanna play game. but if i play games i wont be able to concentrate on other things. what a dillema... but seriously, if you dont play games you'll be missing a part of life. just like anime. u noe CODE GEASS??? this anime really got to me. and at the end, i started crying... BAAAAAH!!!
(eh, arent i supposed to say 'waaaaah' instead of 'BAAAAAH!!!'?) but really, at the end @#$%^^&*^%$####. (NO SPOILERS!) wheeeeeeee.

so dats all i guess. nitey ^_^

09102008

2008-10-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

frustrating as it is, the moon disappeared at precisely 1234h. yea. i was enjoying the spotlight from the moon at the view of my room, until it was covered my the cloud. how unfortunate.

telling you this makes you think im pretty full of myself. i gotta admit, thats one of my traits. heeee, im not realli shy to say things about myself. in the mirror i will look, when my friend asks, i will answer "this is called 'self-appreciation', my friend" and we end up laughing. sometimes its hard for me to say out things about people that i acknowledge in them. probably its bcos of my ego. having them to be better than me makes me feel inferior, and i would probably end up acting cool, like i dont realli care about the person. thats how i probably picked up the trait of 'self-appreciation' hahas.

but i really am a good guy! and by saying this i probably gave you a few opinions about me. i am proud, am not humble, seem to be a self-prociamed goodie-two-shoes, may probably be a hypocrite, or basically act like an idiot to believe what i said. and now you will think i am an analytical hypocrite. well hahas, i onlie brought this up cos it looked like fun. so basically i didnt really mean anything that i say. or probably you will stick to the opinion that im am a bloody analytical hypocrite.

playing around with your head was fun!
just kidding!

i love the BOOST chocalate bar, you know, the one from cadburry. the one with nuts is awesome! you just have to try it, you will feel like youre eating a snickers bar covered with caburry chocolate oh how i crave it. well, try some tea after the chocolate. it helps ^_^

08102008

2008-10-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

yay! three days of raya! a-hem.

animes like code geass or gundam really show how politics go in the anime world. the hero is a soldier in a particular army and his best friend is an elite of the enemy. they fight unknowingly of who theyre really fighting with and end up hurting each other. when their friends die, they will blame each other and end up fighting. both armies want the same thing yet they cant accpet each other. then when the hero knows he is fighting his best friend, he goes all out and when hes about to win, he hesitates for 1 second and ended up getting beaten up. both nations still continue fighting. (of course until the hero's side wins) this is their politics.

nice plot, but to think the real life people cant even learn from mistakes shown in animes, themselves. maybe even i have done smtg and not even know what it is. ignorant i am. but still, the anime is awesome.

work it or not to work it. that is the question. (at least for tonite)

my friend invited me to join this company selling water products and etc. well, im sure it well affects the course im studying in but the thing is i dont really wanna be working and schoolling at the same time. school starts next monday and i dont wanna do as badly as the first semester. i admit that i slacked the first semester, thinking that poly is all about fun and games. it was my mistake, and deeply regreted it. when my dad saw my results i just broke. deep inside i can feel his sadness of my incompetence. and my mom was also really disappointed. i dont wanna see them like that. like when i failed tests in secondary school. so im gonna give it my all for the exams. for my parents, for god, and for my future god willing.

07102008

2008-10-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

lelouch and light yagami are so what-the-hell similar, well, with the exception that lelouch doesnt kill people as badly as yagami does.

u noe, the funny thing about holidays is that they actually wear you out, even if you stay at home all day. cos whenever you go out, theres a high chance of you walking and standing for hours in a mall, or sitting for hours in a movie theatre. my friends go work during the holidays and that may actually give twice the burden. the last time i had the job (well it was my first job) i actually got struck by a fever. it was on a holiday too. probably its bcos when one thinks he/she is on a holiday, they subconsciously lower their body strength as they feel theyre supposed to be in a 'holiday mood' well, in my opinion at least.

and so i find myself in another tiring, nothing to do holiday, where when i stay in my room too long, my parents will threaten to take my lappy, and if i stay out of the house too long, they will say the world outside is brainwashing me. tell me, in what way have i been brainwashed??? really, even if it was with my cousin they will still say the say thing. well, thats what parents are. but sometimes theyre pretty cool too. (until they start telling stories about your mysterious past to others) my dad is an awesome cameraman who is one who has lots of experiences in life. he experienced hardships, nobility, and hes a pretty good cook. (well once in a while, mom does most of the cooking) hes one of the few i respect (and when i respect the person, that means the person is like wah *angel sounds*) tho he is a little stubborn. my mom is pretty cool too. when someone asks for help, she'll give it her all without complaint! but when the person doesnt act appreciative of her help or others who have helped the person, shes got a pretty sharp mouth.

heeeee ^_^

well u can say todays post is pretty short so i'll extend it with something nice that i found on the internet.

I'm sure that the heart I left behind
still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, deep forest

Exhausted, without the strength to search
people vanish into the infinite darkness.

If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?

As we live on,
we lose a little bit more.
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out

The days pass by and change,
without us even realizing how blue the sky really is.

Overcoming that made-up scheme, we live the present,
and our rusted hearts begin to beat again!

If we can find the rhythm of time, we can fly once again

We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Believing in you, now I begin my journey with you,
in search of the light.

We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Closing off the way back,
we walk on for eternity.

We live our lives standing frozen to the spot,
unable to cry out, for eternity...

06102008

2008-10-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

u noe, the reason the name of my blog is 'myblogtonite' is cos i, well, only write posts at nite! (wateva i do in the day is a secret) anywaes we're already in the middle of raya, and im planning to go visiting with my friends. its really sad. im actually planning to go out with a group of friends on a thursday. but later i heard from another group of friends that they wanna go on that particular thursday... bah what can i do? im onlie human!

so whenever im faced with all these problems, i draw manga and forget all about em. really. last time it went to the extent that i nearly missed an examination! well, i did miss it. (came an hour late so i wasnt allowed to participate in the exam) hahas. so in the end my lecturer/saviour arranged a make up examination. i was like wah *angel sounds* and then i took my test and ended up doing really badly T-T

den den den i spend time at home counting money (hey, its raya!) or acting out my manga. then i act as if i was the hero of the manga. for example "AHHH! Uh- there has to be way to beat his armor!" den i would switch to the villain "HAHAHA! dont even think of trying to beat my armor! It will cost your LIFE!!" den i pretend im swordfighting with em, i pretend to get beaten up pretty badly, to the extent i get "stabbed" on my should (if i get stabbed in the heart, the story would end) and so... the turning point! the hero suddenly awakens his full power after blabbering about protecting his so-called friends. den he kills the villain and live happily ever after. with his girlfriend of course.

doing all that acting takes me out pretty quickly, so its off to the showers. wen i get back to the bed its either anime or game. or ko. or maybe manga(drawing is included). hiyah. expecting calls or messages which will come eventually... but waiting for the bloody phone to even get near me gets on my nerves. "IM THE BLOODY HELL BORED!!!!!" is what i would be thinking staring at the phone like dat. wen time comes, people will visit. and so ppl on msn will be ignored ^_^

im a pretty awesome dude aint i?

05102008

2008-10-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

i cant help but watch romantic comedies nowadays. i think they're pretty cool. the concept of one boy having many girls to chase after him really sells out. plus, normally the many girls that chase after him are the hottest in the anime. for that reason, the boy gets beaten up often. why? cos the girls fight over him (or rather fight on him) and the boys would beat him up for stealing the hottest women. funny really.

its not so bad now. i dont feel like emoing for a long time. probably ive moved on. i guess i decided to write this blog only when i am secured. well... i am, arent i? but ive been bored the whole of september. ok, not so bored... cos it was the fasting month and i didnt really have the strength to go on hyper mode. ah i miss classes. nvr thought id say that. waking up early sucks, you gotta admit. staying up late doing nothing really kicks me in the knee.

games young and old (i mean new and old) are pretty fun if you play them alternately. cos sometimes when you play an old game, you will feel as if you are bored with it (in malay we call it 'jelak') and when you play an extremely new game after a week, it wouldnt be new. so my style of playing new games is to change games constantly so the thrill of games would last even longer.

my friend has been putting in jokes inside his blog, i think his idea is pretty cool so im thinking of a new idea to add in my blog. since im seriously low tech, i dont really know much about customizing blogs but at least i can do a thing or two... but im lazy to learn :P what a setback. hahas somewhat being low tech can be pretty convinient (did i spell that right?) cos i dont really have to do complicated stuff all day. AWESOME. ive out all my pride into my beloved sports and still dream of being a sportsman (i wish). coolness.

sleep tonight before you are slept on?

G.O.O.D. N.I.G.H.T.